To Goss for popping my Clex fic-writing cherry and to Jennifus, my If-I-could,-
I-would-smack-her-upside-the-head-with-a-dictionary Beta, without whom this
fic would be unpublished (and at the very least, mutilated).
If they were mine, I'd make a sandwich.
Like leather pants and collars, so thoroughly enjoyable. And even chaffing is
somehow okay, so don't hold back.
It’s 8 o’clock and Lex is just leaving the office. Another one of those days,
made that much harder because his mind wasn’t anywhere near work today. Okay,
here goes nothing. He flips his phone open and sticks it back in the holder
on the dash.
Clark." He feels silly barking the order at the phone, but it’s so much
easier than trying to find the numbers on that tiny piece of shit.
on, come on - pick up."
Lex. I have a favor to ask." No point beating around the bush.
Lex. What is it?."
dedicating a wing at Metropolis Hospital next week on behalf of LuthorCorp
and I need you to go with me. The bad news is that you’ll have to wear a tux
and put up with some really stuffy people for a couple of hours. The good
news is Metropolis has a great nightlife that I‘m very familiar with. What
do you say? Up for a night on the town?"
sure. But don’t you want to take a date?"
don’t want any hassles. I have some business that I have to attend to that
night and I can’t afford any distractions. These things are always only 50%
pleasure." Well, that was the truth - most of the truth anyway.
well I guess I’ll go then." Not the reaction Lex was hoping for.
sound so excited Clark."
just - I never know what to say to people like that."
like what Clark? Like me?."
not like them." So naïve Clark - so naïve.
course I am."
You’re - you care about people and actually…"
to do the right thing? Yes I do. But I’m a Luthor - that makes me one of them."
to me." God he was impossible sometimes.
gala’s on Friday night, so I’ll pick you up after school on Friday and we’ll
go from there. Do you have a tux?"
Well, we‘ll go tomorrow and get you one. Be at my house at 3. Oh - and Clark?"
Lex just couldn’t resist.
go commando tomorrow. I really like my tailor and I don’t want to have to
never go commando Lex."
the young ladies of Smallville must be so disappointed."
see you tomorrow Clark."
before Clark can say goodbye, Lex snaps the phone shut. Perfect timing - he
pulls through the gates of the Luthor house and around the back to the garage.
Lionel’s there waiting for him.
His father runs a gloved hand along his Ferrari, then looks at his fingers.
Must be dusty. Better have Mason take it to be detailed tomorrow.
- to what do I owe this honor? Looking for another one of my ex-girlfriends?
Or is it actually business this time?"
always business, son. You should know that by now."
heels click sharply on the marble as they walk through the kitchen and down
the hall. So much for relaxing tonight. They reach the living room and he
sees that Lionel’s already been in here, making himself comfortable. The fire’s
burning high and one of his $500 bottles of scotch has been opened. Shit.
He kicks off his shoes and settles in for the sparring match with his father.
During this - the latest of Lionel’s rants - he lets his mind wonder. He’s
gotten used to these little tirades and can almost completely tune them out
pours himself some of the scotch and leans his head back on the chair. He’ll
have to call Randolph tonight and let him know that he and Clark are coming
in for a fitting. But it’s not the tux he’s thinking about when his father
lays a bony hand on his shoulder and gives it a hard squeeze.
Are you son?"
Oh, sorry. Did you say something? Am I what?"
of your marketing department?"
had to do some fancy work lately to boost PR after the toxins where dumped
on the Kent land.
done a thorough job and have launched a new clean-environment campaign that’s
made these people feel safe again. So, yes, I guess you could say I’m fond
of my marketing department."
bad son - I’m moving them to Metropolis - need them there." Lionel smirks,
looking pleased with himself.
squeezes the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. His father’s presence
always gives him a headache. Which means he’ll be up all night. Again.
you don’t mind, I have some work I need to get done, Dad. We’ll talk about
this on Monday at the board meeting." *Go. Go. Get out. Leave me alone.*
we will. Goodnight son."
does that always sound like a threat coming from his father? Like it should
be followed by, "I wouldn’t close my eyes tonight if I were you."
builds the fire back up a little, pours himself another scotch and flops back
into the deep leather armchair. Well, at least he has the Gala covered. No
hassles, no games - just Clark and dinner, a little business, cut a ribbon
and he’s out of there. Then he’d show Clark the side of Metropolis that he
"Hold still." Lex is enjoying this. Clark’s literally twitching
while Randolph pins the hems on his pants.
said, hold still. This fabric is too nice for blood stains." Clark bites
his bottom lip and tries to follow the tailor‘s order. Lex covers his smile
with the back of his hand. Wouldn’t want Clark to feel any more embarrassed
than he already is.
worry Clark - he’s almost done. I told you it would be painless."
right. You’re not the one getting stabbed. " Too cute, Clark.
tailor shoots him a dirty look.
wouldn‘t be getting stabbed if you would hold still! He’s done, Mr. Luthor.
I’ll have these alterations finished tonight."
just standing there, looking at his reflection in the mirror, grinning from
ear to ear. Lex can’t help but laugh.
realizes his vanity in a snap and steps away from the mirror, then disappears
behind the curtain of the dressing room. That was almost too easy for Lex.
How far will Clark blindly follow his wishes? It’s so tempting to take advantage
of that innocence. He could, oh say, dress him up in a tux and sweep him off
to a Gala in the city.
we’ll be stopping by tomorrow at 5pm on our way to Metropolis. I trust that
Clark can dress here?"
course sir. I’ll see to it that the staff knows to expect you."
can see Clark‘s hip through a gap at the side of the curtain as he tugs on
his jeans. He turns his head but his eyes drift back, hoping for another peek.
Hey, he has to get his kicks somehow.
Clark comes out he’s already looking like a lost puppy. Lex wonders if this
is a mistake, then feels pangs of guilt for even thinking about abusing Clark’s
looked really sharp Clark - you’re going to turn quite a few heads tomorrow
Lex. I’m still really nervous. What am I going to talk to these people about?
I know they’re not going to want to hear about some high school kid doing
chores on a farm."
might be surprised Clark. People seem - drawn to you. These people are all
grasping for anything that vaguely resembles success. Don’t let them fool
you though - they’re either as nervous as you are or just complete pricks.
Either way, you’ll do fine. You’re a good judge of character."
still a high school kid who doesn’t know which fork to use for what."
a pitch fork - you know that one."
come on - I’m serious!"
the tines then - you know, sometimes there are three tines - shrimp fork.
Sometimes there are four tines - salad fork…"
Lex - it’s confusing enough already! I’ll just hide in the bathroom during
I’m going to be right there beside you. There’s nothing to worry about. Just
follow my lead."
what about when you’re off doing business? Who’s lead do I follow then, huh?"
knows he’s genuinely nervous - he remembers he felt that way at his first
formal dinner for LuthorCorp. Lionel told him to recite historical speeches
in his head instead of getting emotional. Anything to distract himself from
being nervous. He ended up working several great quotes into the conversations
he was on the edges of and was an instant hit. People are always impressed
and intimidated by what they don’t understand. Lex turned that to his advantage
then and has been doing it ever since. But that would definitely not work
you need is a distraction Clark. Think about Lana."
that’s great. Exchange one terrifying thought for another, Lex. Thanks a lot."
I mean, think about the good times you’ve had. Think about her in your favorite
places. The windmill, the loft, the Talon. Trust me, it’ll work."
but if I run from the ballroom and you find me cowering in the bushes outside,
it’s all your fault."
has to laugh. Clark’s buttoned his shirt wrong. This is beyond nervous.
off a button Clark." Clark gives him a puzzled look and Lex raises his
eyebrows at his shirt.
shit - thanks. See, I’m already messing things up."
you’re going to be great. You’ll be a breath of fresh air for these people.
They’re going to fawn all over you. In that suit? Come on!"
the tux is pretty cool. I don’t know about fawning though." Clark finishes
re-buttoning his shirt and they walk outside.
And they did. Adored him and fawned all over him, that is . So much that Lex
barely got two words with Clark all evening. The lamb was dry - the mint sauce
too sweet, but dinner was perfect next to Clark. He fumbled the forks despite
all the memory tricks Lex had tried to teach him, and when someone else at
the table noticed, they just smiled and looked away. That’s how much they
was good, but Lex wasn’t worried about that. He watched Clark in amused wonder
as he blossomed. He told jokes, talked politics and flirted like mad. One
young lady literally hung on his arm for an hour, and Clark just took it all
in stride. In spite of all the encouragement he’d given, he didn’t really
believe that Clark had this in him. This was a whole new side of Clark. Interesting.
he finally catches up with Clark, he’s in the hallway sitting on a marble
bench, one leg resting on the other knee, hands kneading his foot through
to go?" Let’s get out of here so we can be alone.
My feet are killing me - how do you wear these shoes all the time Lex?"
get used to them." Well, almost.
me. Give me some sneakers or nothing- these suck!"
to get out of that suit too?"
I like it. It makes me feel - important."
so the truth comes out. You *can* take the farm out of the boy!"
they head for the car, Lex decides this is the time to try to move things
along. He reaches for the limo door as the driver rounds the front of the
car. "I got it man - thanks." The driver turns on his heels and
gets back in.
ahead and change your shoes Clark - in fact, change your clothes."
Where are we going?"
Is that okay with you?"
am I going to get in anywhere? I’m 16 Lex."
naïve. He shoots Clark a smile and Clark nods.
I forgot. You‘re Lex Luthor."
pulls off his jacket and strips off his shirt, reaching for his change of
clothes. He feels Clark’s eyes on him and smiles.
Lex. You - you‘re - "
everywhere? What did you expect? I figure it‘s good though - at least this
way I‘m 100% freak and not just 10% freak."
not so bad Lex. I mean, it’s kind of cool. You don’t ever have to shave or
worry about which shampoo to use."
rather shave and worry about shampoo than have to see that look on all of
my lovers’ faces." Clark has his shirt off and is fumbling with the clasp
in the tux pants. Tricky little buggers. Lex is trying hard not to stare.
of your lovers -? Oh, I’m sorry."
waves it off without a word. He’s grown to expect this conversation every
time he takes his shirt off.
can I ask you something?"
sex really all they say it is?" Where’s this coming from? Oh right -
it depends Clark. Who are we talking about here? Lana?"
my guess is that it would be awkward, uncomfortable and embarrassing. I’m
sure she’s a virgin too
Clark. First times don’t usually go very well even if only one partner is
a virgin. I doubt either of you’d know what to do."
Did he really just say that to the boy who‘s had a crush on Lana Lang his
entire life? Oh God - he sounds hurt. Lex can’t believe he made Clark’s voice
sound like that. But it *was* the truth.
being honest Clark. Trust me - even if everything went well it still wouldn‘t
be very enjoyable for either of you. Not until you know what you‘re doing.
Then things get more interesting."
So, how many people have you been with anyway?"
Clark? Keeping a record?" Lex isn’t sure that’s something he wants Clark
- no. I was just curious."
lost count. I don’t collect people - they just come in and out of my life."
Well, do you know how many men you’ve been with?" What was this? Men?
makes you think I’ve been with men?"
just thought - well, I’d heard-" Once again his reputation had preceded
can imagine what you heard. Well, I’m not sure. Several. Why do you want to
it- I mean - well, is it-" This is just painful. Spit it out Clark!
just ask me. I’m not judging you here. Ask. If I don‘t want to tell you, I
When you’re with them - is it like being with a woman?"
it for now. We’re here."
fidgeting with his seatbelt and trips as he climbs out of the limo. He must
still be as nervous as he was at the gala. Maybe more. He pulls Clark through
the door of the club behind him with a nod and a loaded handshake for the
bouncer. Clark sways when they get inside, leaning against him a little. The
music’s thumping, lights flashing, people everywhere and he can’t think. He
yells in Clark’s ear to just stay close to him and then heads over to the
tosses some bills to the bartender, yells something at him and a minute later
the guy sets a Cosmopolitan down on a napkin in front of Clark, then walks
away to get Lex’s drink.
drink it. You trust me don’t you?"
buts. Just relax - drink it. You’ll like it. It‘s really very tame."
bartender comes back with Lex’s Martini. Ah, freedom. With an olive. Lex nods
sideways at the dance floor.
going out there - you coming?"
just stay here."
drains the glass, pops the olive off the end of the toothpick and into his
mouth and heads out into the mob.
pounding music, the smell of alcohol mixed with cigarette smoke, the people
everywhere, bumping into each other as they dance - it’s all so comforting
to Lex. Sweet anonymity. He tries not to think about how back in the limo
he saw Clark’s eyes lingering on his chest. But Clark’s still over there,
on the stool alone - being Clark. It’s infuriating and irresistible at the
same time. It feels so wrong not to tell him what he‘s been thinking. It feels
like he‘s betraying him. But he knows he’s not going to tell him the truth
- not tonight. Not when Clark’s asking what sex with Lana would be like and
how many partners he‘s had.
Lex woke up with a headache and is in the kitchen of the penthouse fixing
a redeye. Raw egg, tomato juice and Lager. Revolting, but it works. Where
had he learned this trick? Oh right - Lionel gave him one before a Monday
morning board meeting once.
is sprawled where Lex had left him last night - on the couch. Wonder that
he isn’t awake yet.
Mmph - uh. Oh, ow. My head! What time is it? " Right on cue - what else
did he expect from Clark?
10. Want one of these?" Lex lifts his glass and Clark stares, trying
to focus on it.
that a raw egg Lex???"
- hangover cure. It‘s not so bad."
Face back in the pillow, his hair a curly, sexy mess.
yourself. The headache won’t go away unless you at least drink some water
looks up at Lex, the Ty-Nant bottle flies through the air and his hand shoots
up to catch it. He twists the top off and gulps down the cool water.
what I’m here for - hangover advice. Better get moving Clark - your parents
are probably waiting on the porch by now, phone in hand, ready to call the
police if they don’t hear from you soon."
first, then you can call in the car - they‘ll be happier if you‘re already
on your way home, clean and not smelling like a brewery."
much did I drink last night?"
after the cocktails you got hold of some nasty little imported beer. I don’t
know how many bottles you had, but I found you in a corner with a redhead
whose hands were under the table."
Well, she got hers.
God. Really?" Clark’s face is beet red.
but you didn’t seem to mind. I got rid of her and put you back together, then
brought you back here."
him back together. Impossible to resist letting his hand brush up against
Clark’s hard cock before fastening his pants and leading him outside. In the
limo, he entertained thoughts of just taking what he wanted. But that would
have been too easy. And he wanted Clark to respond to him, to be there with
problem. I just hope you had a good time."
sure if I could remember anything, I’d tell you I did."
cleaned up and let’s get out of here Clark. Your parents are waiting."
"You look horrible Lex."
Clark. I didn‘t get much sleep last night. What brings you out here?"
dad got a call from Earl. He’s doing better. I thought you’d want to know."
tosses down the papers he’s been reading and leans back in his chair.
know Clark. I went to see him in the hospital yesterday."
grudgingly pulls his chair back up to the desk and starts typing on his laptop.
Well I can see you‘re busy. I‘ll go." Lex doesn’t take his eyes off his
work but he knows Clark hasn’t moved. He’s watching Lex, waiting for something.
tell me what Lana did this time?"
do you mean?"
You come skulking into my office with some lame excuse about letting me know
how Earl’s doing when you know perfectly well that I’m on top of his case.
Besides, there aren’t many secrets here Clark - it’s a small town. I know
Lana‘s going away with Nell for summer vacation - I am her boss now, remember?
She had to ask for the time off. Don‘t worry. She‘ll only be gone a few weeks."
really not Lana, Lex."
is it then?"
That’s the most loaded "nothing" he’s ever heard. So Clark’s going
to make him pry it out of him - well, he can do that.
key-locks his screen, slaps his laptop shut, and grabs a handful of signed
papers from his desk. He swings on his jacket and motions Clark out the door,
locking it behind him.
get some coffee Clark. I need to drop these papers off at the Talon anyway."
what kept you awake last night Lex?" Same thing that keeps me awake every
phone rings and he flips it open. "Lex Luthor… no, I didn’t…no, he didn’t…no,
you won’t…I’ll take care of it myself. Cancel the appointment with Dominic
and tell him I am not at my father’s beck and call." He slaps the phone
shut and slides it into his jacket.
what Clark - who."
asked what’s keeping me up at night. It’s a person. But hopefully I‘ll be
able to put it all behind me soon." Yeah and hopefully hell would freeze
the hallway of the Luthor Mansion, Clark can’t stop looking at the walls -
the paintings - the maps - everywhere he looks there’s something interesting.
Lex sees him gawking and smiles.
says Belladonna works great if you can’t sleep."
but take enough and you never have to worry about sleeping again."
Lex opens a door, hits a button on the wall and the garage door grinds open.
Thumbing his key chain, the horn sounds on his new Porsche.
opens the passenger door and crams himself into the compact car, ducking his
head and all but sticking his knees in his ears.
car Lex. Could you get anything smaller next time?"
they say that size doesn‘t matter?"
raised, Clark smiles and reaches for the radio. Lex’s hand catches his before
he can turn it on.
just nods. Lex is in no mood for music right now. In just a few awkwardly
silent minutes, they round the corner and pull up in front of the Talon. Lex
yanks the emergency break up too hard and glances at Clark, who obviously
wonders if he’s the cause of this silence.
shouldn’t have asked why you can’t sleep Lex - I’m sorry. None of my business."
Well hell, Lex didn’t mean to make him feel bad.
just preoccupied Clark, that’s all."
climbs out of the car and stretches. Really, he has a point - it’s too small
to cost so much. Clark is ten steps in front of him but he holds the Talon
door. They grab a table by the window and Clark hooks his backpack over the
back of his chair. So young. Too young? Maybe. And here she is - Lady Luck
in the flesh.
Lang -- nice to see you again. Drop any dishes today?"
In that case, I’ll have a Cafe Mocha with whip - in a Styrofoam cup."
got it Lex. What about you Clark?"
right up boys."
of them watch her walk away. She stretches up, holding her tray over her head
as another waitress passes beside her in the narrow aisle. Clark’s still watching
her when Lex looks back at him.
got good taste Clark." Clark rolls his eyes.
thought you always got Cappuccinos."
do, and that’s what I just ordered. I finally figured out what to ask for
so Lana will bring me a Cappuccino. You should’ve tasted the lattes I had
to go through to get it right!"
eyes light up with laughter and Lex enjoys it a little more than he should.
It’s now or never, so here goes nothing.
what are your plans for the summer Clark?"
know, chores, reading, more chores. There’s a lot of work on the farm."
hardly sounds like a summer vacation. Why not go somewhere?"
Pete and I usually go fishing…"
not what I mean. I mean somewhere besides Smallville."
Dad needs me to stick close to the farm."
he can spare you for a couple of weeks. Where would you go if you could go
haven‘t thought about it really. Anywhere would be new. Metropolis would be
an adventure compared to Smallville."
go. My penthouse is just sitting there - empty."
don’t know Lex, that’s your place and - ."
I’m not using it. Listen Clark, you don’t have to clean or cook or anything
while you’re there. Order in every night. I’ll take care of everything. You
can sit around all day and read or go to every museum in Metropolis for all
I care. Go visit Chloe at the Daily Planet - they’re rough on the interns
and I bet she’d be happy to see a friendly face. Just give yourself some time
away from the farm. I‘ll even come into town when I can and we can go clubbing
again." Lex has nothing but good intentions, but somehow when he says
it all, it comes out sounding like he’s after something.
I’ll have to think about it."
sounds like a ‘yes’ to me. Clark, just do it. You saved my life - twice -
I can’t give you any presents. Just take this at least."
have to check with my parents you know."
here are the keys - remember how to get there? Of course you don’t - we were
in the limo. I’ll write out the directions for you, or I can get Maurice to
drive you there when you decide you want to go. There’s a BMW in the garage
at the penthouse if you want to drive somewhere - the space number’s on the
key. Blue opens the penthouse door, red opens the garage, green the mailbox,
yellow is the car key. It’s all yours."
Lex - how long have you been planning on offering me this?"
are your drinks boys!" Lex could kiss Lana - she has the best timing.
lifts the lid on his drink, blows on it and takes a big gulp. He sneaks a
smile to Clark who returns it. It’s a cappuccino.
as ever Ms. Lang. You make the best Café Mocha in town." A neat
have like five tables waiting on me guys - catch you later?" Good, she
got the hint.
Lana. Whenever you get the chance!" Clark’s never been a master of subtlety.
Well, Clark, it’s been good talking but I’d better get going. Want a ride
in his voice unintentionally makes it sound like an order rather than an offer
and Clark nods, stands up and shoulders his backpack. Lex throws some bills
on the table and pushes his chair back.
They climb into the car and Lex’s hand goes straight to the radio, turning
it up too loud - then to the window controls, then to the gear shift and they’re
being blasted by music and wind before Clark can say anything. After that
little reminder of Clark’s Lana-obsession, Lex doesn’t want to talk.
is leaning back, eyes closed. On the empty rural route, he watches Clark more
than the road, taking advantage of his closed eyes. His elbow rubs Clark’s
arm when he changes gears. Clark inhales deeply and his chest rises. It’s
too much. Lex can’t help but touch him. He speeds up, puts it into 5th gear
and lays his hand lightly on Clark’s. Maybe he won’t notice. Lex stares straight
ahead, pretending to pay attention to the road, dreading the moment he knows
is coming - when Clark snatches his hand away and confronts him. But it doesn’t
come. Clark moves his head slightly but keeps his eyes closed, smiles and
goes back to catnapping.
awake. And not moving Lex’s hand away.
this okay?" Please don’t say no.
smiles to himself. That was *not* a “no.“ It’s a simple start, but it’s a
start. There’s plenty of time to make things complicated. He raises his foot
slightly and takes his time getting to Clark’s house.
they get close to the Kent farm, Clark opens his eyes and smiles at Lex. Then
his eyes fall on Lex‘s hand and Lex moves it to the gear shift. Nothing -
no indication that he’s offended - or pleased. He’s giving Lex nothing to
work with here.
know, I don’t even know how to drive a five speed. Dad won’t let me drive
the truck yet - not even around the farm." Now *that* Lex can work with.
it’s time you had a lesson Clark."
slams on the brakes and Clark’s backpack hit’s the back of his seat.
Jesus! What are you doing?" Well, that woke him up.
every young man should know how to drive a five speed. Automatics are for
the weak. Come on, you‘re going to drive." Lex opens his door and heads
around to the passenger side, sliding in past Clark, who‘s just standing there
by the door.
I don’t think I should-"
course you should Clark, now get in." Clark opens the door and eases
in behind the wheel.
maybe I should start on something less - well, expensive."
starting now Clark. Left foot on the clutch. Right on the break. Put it in
neutral." Clark obeys and Lex wriggles the gearshift around to make sure
it’s in neutral.
now start the car."
I think this is a bad idea-" But he starts the car. Lex smiles - he’s
still obeying. Maybe he can push Clark a little further.
now take your foot off the break. Right. Now slowly - VERY slowly, lift your
foot off the clutch while you give it some gas. It‘s all about balance."
Porsche lurches forward and stalls. "See Lex, I told you this was a bad
you know how many times I did that before I got it right Clark? Keep trying.
Come on - left foot on the clutch, right on the brake. Put it in neutral."
repeat the process until Clark is finally cruising past the Kent’s south field,
grinning like a fool. He turns into the farm, downshifting too slowly and
letting out the clutch too fast, and the car jerks to a halt.
smiles and nods. “You did great Clark. My first drive was across a parking
lot. I never got out of first."
now you never stay in first." Little grin. Clark and his little grins.
Can’t even pull off sarcasm without one.
no one stays in first. You can’t get anywhere if you stay in first - you’ll
better switch seats before my Dad sees." Clark glances nervously at the
house, the barn.
- I don’t want to give him anything else to be mad at me about. You’ll just
have to pretend to learn all this again when he finally teaches you."
climbs out of the car and passes Clark on his way to the driver’s side. Clark
grabs his arm.
problem Clark." And Clark’s still holding onto his arm. Lex looks down
at it and Clark jerks his hand away like he’s just realized he was still holding
it. Raising his eyebrows, Lex takes Clark’s hand. He doesn’t pull it away.
No - this is too weird. Clark can’t possibly - no. Lex drops his hand and
opens his car door, climbs inside and slams it shut.
opens his door and stuffs himself back into the bucket seat.
Clark - we’ve got to get you home."
need to talk to you Lex - and not at my house."
You‘re going home." Can’t talk - can’t think. Have to get away from Clark
before this happens - before these things are said.
Lex, I’m not. I need to talk and you need to listen." And Clark’s never
sounded like *this* before. He’s never ordered him to do anything. And it
floors Lex. So, okay.
- just drive." Surprising himself, Lex realizes he can obey too.
backs up the car, spins around and takes off down the long, straight road.
He’s fumbling around in his jacket for his sunglasses. Can’t find them. Clark’s
hand snakes in and pulls them out of the breast pocket. Is he *trying* to
drive Lex mad?
you put them in there at the Talon."
He takes the sunglasses, shakes them open and slides them on. He feels hidden
from Clark now - safe. Clark’s turned toward him as far as he can in the tiny
car, watching him. It’s too hot and Lex considers turning on the a/c. In January.
Clark would think he was nuts. He looks over at Clark, who‘s got his mouth
open but not saying anything. He gives Lex a look - like he can’t start this
conversation, so Lex figures he might as well just dive in.
So Clark, what is it you want to talk about?" An opener if there ever
was one. And Clark bites.
the night of the gala? I saw you with that man at the club Lex. I was looking
for the bathroom and I saw you. You - kissing him."
didn’t kiss him Clark." A little thing Lex likes to call plausible deniability.
I saw you -"
Clark, you saw him kiss me. There’s a difference."
So are you - together?" What is that in his voice? Anger? Jealousy? Can’t
had a relationship. It’s in the past. It was a long time ago. Why the sudden
just wondered. I mean, you’ve seemed really strange since that night and I
thought maybe he - upset you. Is he why you can’t sleep?"
it comes. Just do it Lex, you know you want to. It’s now or never. A deep
breath and then.
you." There. Chew on that, Clark.
looks at him quickly to see the reaction - Clark’s surprised… but not disgusted.
That has to be a good sign. He’s still turned towards Lex, a look of total
shock on his face.
your mouth, Clark - it’s not that big of a deal."
that big of a - are you kidding? Yes it is. You - you think of me like that?"
think of you lots of ways Clark. Friend, child, little brother, and yes, sometimes
- lover." Clark swallows so loudly that Lex hears it. He reaches over
and touches Clark’s leg.
worry, I’m not going to attack you. I assure you - I’m harmless. Well. Mostly."
long silence. Too long. Painfully long. Clark swallows again and Lex turns
on the a/c. In fucking January. It’s too hot in here. Clark clears his throat
and plays with the corner of his flannel shirt.
do you - think about?" Now there’s a question.
you sure you really want to know, Clark?" Clark actually pauses to think
about this. As usual, his face tells Lex exactly what he’s thinking. Curiosity
and embarrassment warring. Curiosity wins. He nods.
Lex just goes for it. He pulls the car over, leaving a black trail on the
pavement, smell of burnt rubber filtering in through the vents and rough shriek
of tires echoing in the still car. And Clark’s lips are soft and warm - comforting
and - strangely - welcoming. He’s so gentle - and it’s so hot. And then he’s
gone. He’s looking at Lex with the first unreadable expression Lex has ever
seen on Clark’s face.
That’s what I think about. Well, that and more." He waits, expecting
- a punch, a laugh, *something.*
reaches up to touch his own lips in wonder. Like he can’t believe they just
kissed. His mouth curls into a sweet smile and he moves his fingers from his
lips to Lex’s. He leans forward and kisses Lex. It’s different this time,
more desperate, more passionate, not nearly as innocent or awkward. Their
tongues mingle and Lex licks Clark’s lips softly as Clark starts to lean away.
The first time someone did that to Lex, his knees turned to Jell-O. Good thing
Clark isn’t standing up. And Clark may as well have punched him.
Simple and perfect.
Lex can’t believe his ears. Wow? That has to be good.
I‘ve thought about you too." This is not happening - it can’t be - he’s
have not - Clark, you‘ve been moping around about Lana since I met you."
expects me to like her. She’s untouchable - unreachable - she has been for
years. Every time I get close, she says something about Whitney. It’s torture."
knows the feeling.
I gave up trying to get close to her. I‘ve just been going through the motions
because everyone expected me to. And, well, it’s habit now. That’s all. Honest."
don‘t love her? I mean, if she was here right now, offering herself to you,
you wouldn‘t take her?"
I don’t even think about her anymore when I - when I think about that."
do you think about Clark? What turns you on?" Clark looks down at his
sneakers and a blush creeps up from his collar to his ears. He’s so shy and
it just makes Lex’s heart beat faster. So he and Lana never had sex. Probably
never even kissed. He doesn’t even think about her sexually anymore. Lex holds
his breath, waiting for Clark to answer. His heart is beating in his ears.
don‘t want you to know"
embarrassing." Right. He’s 16. Lex has to keep reminding himself of that.
I’m not embarrassed. Look at me. It’s not embarrassing. It’s sex. It’s human
nature to think about it."
nature. Right." Irony there, Lex thinks, but doesn’t understand it. It’s
Clark, so simplify things for him.
you read any Walt Whitman Clark?"
Whitman. He wrote about the beauty of all people - the universal beauty of
every person. He saw the world as full of passion and pleasure. Even pain
and death held beauty for him. I feel the same way, Clark. Every person is
beautiful, seductive. Clark, you can tell me what turns you on. You’re my
friend - you’re beautiful to me - and I’m not going to judge you."
had a dream about you once and. Well. You… you were touching me and kissing
me and I - I woke up in a soaked bed. I think about it all the time. I think
about you - doing those things to me. It‘s stupid, I know."
dreams about their friends like that at some point. That doesn‘t mean you‘re
attracted to me. It was just a dream. It means nothing.”
yes. It was a dream. It doesn’t mean you want to actually do it."
if I do?" Too good to be true. Clark is really here, in his car, saying
these words to him. Composure Lex - remember, he’s just a boy. Just an amazing
boy. Just a beautiful, amazing boy. Yeah. Just a -. Jesus.
reaches across Lex’s arm and starts to loosen his tie. Lex flinches - he wasn’t
expecting this. In a half-second he decides not to protest. He jerks his tie
loose and slips it off over his head, letting it fall into the backseat. Clark’s
hands are fumbling with Lex’s shirt buttons and he’s got his eyebrows crinkled
up and tongue stuck out in concentration. Lex smiles at him but he doesn’t
even see it. So adorable.
let me." Lex quickly unbuttons his shirt and then Clark’s hands are pushing
it off his shoulders before he can get the cufflinks off.
Clark - take it easy. I’m not going anywhere."
I just- I need to see you- "
Lex’s mouth covers his before he can finish apologizing. Clark pulls away
long enough to pull his shirt and sweater over his head. There‘s too much
room between them. Clark‘s just looking at him. It’s an awkward moment. They
both know this is the last chance to stop this - that this is the point of
no return. Once they’ve done this, there’s no going back to just being friends.
Lex is waiting for Clark to retreat. He doesn’t, though. He doesn’t.
slides his hand across Lex’s chest, then down his side, making Lex suck in
air. He moves his hand down to Clark’s thigh and squeezes. Clark’s hands are
maddening on him - so strong and rough but inexperienced and they almost tickle.
Lex puts a hand around Clark’s neck and pulls him in for another kiss. He’s
torn between the kiss and being able to see Clark like this and compromises
by opening his eyes. Kissing Clark with his eyes open is a whole different
reaches for Lex’s belt. The sound of his zipper is deafening. His hand is
cool on Lex’s hot skin, but when he leans down, Clark’s mouth is hot on him.
The contrast takes Lex’s breath away. Clark’s mouth moving up and down on
him, his hair tickling Lex’s stomach. It’s strange - the rhythm’s off and
it’s achingly shallow and then Lex remembers. Clark has never done this before
- never even had this done *to* him. An innocent blowjob - how ironic. It’s
incredibly erotic though, knowing his is the first cock Clark has tasted.
Lex takes a deep breath and tilts his head back on the headrest, trying to
relax. He moans his encouragement to Clark, who’s moving faster now. This
is too much, too soon, too- something. He grabs Clark‘s shoulder and tugs
Stop. Clark - stop."
sits up slowly, but keeps moving his hand along Lex’s length. Lex reaches
down, lifts Clark’s hand off of him and brings it to his mouth. He kisses
it and smiles.
don’t want you to do this Clark. Not yet." He wants to show him - teach
him - guide him. And not here.
leans back on his seat, completely pulling away from Lex. Exactly what Lex
was afraid of. The distance between them is less than a foot but it feels
like the length of a football field.
-" He can’t let him talk - Clark will convince him to do this now if
he talks. This isn’t how it should be. Clark deserves better.
not yet. Not here, not like this."
penthouse Clark." Lex watches Clark for a reaction. He’s sure to put
it all together now - he’ll know that Lex had this in mind all along. And
suddenly it dawns on Clark, and he finally gets it. And he smiles. And it’s
contagious. Lex pulls Clark’s head down on his chest and leans back. Clark’s
arms wrap around him in a tight embrace. This is nice. Lex can’t remember
the last time someone just held him - or the last time he held someone. Was
it Pamela? Or his mother? Too long ago to matter, now.
how long have you been planning this?" Now that is the question, isn’t
long. I didn’t even think it was possible until you saved me on Level 3. That
night, after our parents left, I gave you a ride home - do you remember?"
- and I remember you were hurt. Your back and ribs were bruised but you wouldn’t
go to the hospital."
lifted my shirt and looked for yourself when I told you I was fine. You didn’t
ask -you just did it - like it was the most natural thing in the world to
be pulling my shirt up and touching me. I think I started thinking it was
possible then. Hoping it was anyway."
wanted to take care of you. I wanted you to stay at my house that night."
remember Clark. You see why I couldn’t now, right?" Clark looks at his
that night - if you’d stayed, then we would’ve-"
you know - been together."
Clark - you’re so young. You can’t even say the word fuck - how are you going
to do it?" As soon as he says it, Lex knows he shouldn’t have. Clark’s
muscles go taut against him.
Clark. It’s just that I’m not sure you really know what you‘re getting into
here. You‘ve never been with anyone. Don‘t you want to be with a woman first?"
shakes his head.
do you know that you won‘t regret being with me your first time?" And
a rush of cold as Clark sits up and leans back on his own seat. The absence
of him is almost painful.
just know, Lex. I‘m usually so nervous when I think about having sex, but
when I think about having it with you, I know I‘ll be okay - whatever happens.
It’s just that I know you‘ll be there with me."
can’t argue with that logic. Losing your virginity is not all fun and games
and who better to be by your side than your best friend?
Clark." Okay, Clark? Who was he kidding? Like Clark had to twist his
Now Clark’s scared again. This could go wrong in so many ways. Better proceed
just go really slowly. You call the shots. I’ll tell you whatever you want
to know. I’ll lead you through it. But it’s not going to happen in a car by
a cornfield. Let‘s get you home."
penthouse then, right?" Clark smirks and pulls his shirts back on. Lex
fastens his pants and buttons his shirt, tucking it as best he can sitting
in the car.
he starts the car up and heads back towards the Kent farm. He could have had
Clark right there. Being the one to make them wait feels strangely satisfying.
know, I’ll never get mom and dad to agree to let me stay in Metropolis alone."
that to me Clark." Lex has this part already figured out.
peels into the Kent driveway, kicking up a dust cloud laced with green flecks.
They slide to a stop in front of the house. Clark turns to thank him for the
ride and Lex gives him a quick kiss.
coming in, Clark."
dinner? I’m sure mom made enough. She likes to cook one day and have leftovers
the next so she can have more time."
not coming inside to eat, Clark, but thanks."
why are you coming in?"
going to get you a vacation in Metropolis." Lex grins at him. He can
do it. He can talk Jonathan Kent into sending his only son to Metropolis with
him, a Luthor. Yeah. Right.
thuds up the wooden porch stairs ahead of Clark, but waits for him to open
good - you’re home. Dinner’s almost ready."
hi Lex - what brings you here?"
giving Clark a lift home Mrs. Kent."
thank you, Lex. Would you like to stay for dinner?"
you, Mrs. Kent. I’m sorry - I can’t. I just wanted to talk to you and Mr.
Kent for a moment."
Jonathan comes clunking into the room smelling like hay and tugging off his
where have you been? It’s nearly 6 and your chores aren’t done."
Dad. I stopped by Lex’s to tell him about Earl."
been keeping up with his case Mr. Kent, but I appreciate your son’s visit.
There was something I wanted to ask you and Mrs. Kent anyway."
ask, Lex." And there is slight exasperation there, slight annoyance.
But not as much as usual. Might be something to work with. He takes a breath
and tries not to make this sound desperate - or shady.
have a property in Hawaii that is booked for three weeks next month, but obviously
I’m not going to be able to go now that we’ve started the cleanup of level
3. I can’t cancel the reservations - they were of the better ends of a bargain
I made with a business colleague of mine. I want to pass that bargain on to
you and Mrs. Kent. Give you a chance to get away and get some much-deserved
rest. What do you say?"
looks surprised, to say the least. Martha looks just as shocked, but also
suddenly… eager. Ah, thank you, Martha.
what exactly is our end of the deal?"
supply my produce for six months without charge."
raises her eyebrows and purses her lips, waiting for Jonathan’s reaction.
Waiting hopefully. He stares at Lex like he’s trying to figure out the catch
in this bargain.
sorry Lex, we can’t leave Clark. Besides, the farm doesn’t take care of itself
thought you’d say that. So I’ll put Clark in my penthouse in Metropolis and
you hire whoever you want to cover the farm until you get back. I promise
I’ll order enough produce that it will be an equal trade. I have some meetings
and parties coming up that will have to be catered. I‘m sure I‘ll be ordering
more than enough to cover the deal."
it is - the look he’s been watching for. Jonathan, considering. And… accepting.
good, Lex, but we’ll have to talk it over."
line and sinker.
enough. Clark has my cell number. Just call when you decide."
tries not to laugh at the stupid grin on Clark’s face. Could he be any more
obvious? Still, Lex knows as well as Clark that he’s said all the right things
and he’s about to acquire a guest in his penthouse.
Clark. I was just about to call you."
I’m ready to go to Metropolis. I’m all packed and mom and Dad went on to Metropolis
tonight so they can catch their plane tomorrow morning."
Clark. Want me to send Maurice to drive you there tonight then?" No time
like the present.
When do you want him to come by?"
don’t." Okay, this was odd.
don’t? Have you changed your mind Clark?"
I want you to take me. I want you there with me. Tonight." Lex almost
falls out of his chair. Tries to make a quick recovery. Not like anyone is
watching him - but, still.
Clark? That’s - fast."
Can we go?"
I’ll have to pack a few things and then I’ll pick you up. Say, 5 o’clock?
We can get dinner and then go on to Metropolis."
I’ll see you at 5." And just like that Clark hung up. What’s going on
here? Lex knows he’s missing something.
pushes the call button on his desk.
could you come in here please?"
Mr. Luthor." And she’s standing in the doorway when Lex looks up.
need to cancel my appointments for the rest of the week. I’ll be working from
Metropolis - strike that. I’ll be in Metropolis but completely off limits
the rest of the week. That means no cell, no office - and Rachel, don’t tell
course." And she’s gone. Efficient little woman. Cold, but efficient.
Clark’s ready huh? Wants him to take him to Metropolis himself. And stay with
him. Tonight. Lex’s stomach tightens and he stifles a giggle. A *giggle*?
This must be what Christmas Eve feels like to most kids.
All through dinner, Clark’s silent. Silent, but smiling to himself. He’s okay,
Lex thinks. It’s not the usual Clark, but he must be nervous. Well, first
times weren’t usually great, but Lex could maybe work a little enjoyment into
Clark’s second time. He’s sure they would both happen tonight. Well, if he
had any say in it.
he lets Clark brood a little over his steak. Smiles openly at him when he
asks for A-1 and a straw for his Coke. He’d get him to talk in the car. Or
maybe after they were in Metropolis. Anyway, it’d be fine. Lex was more than
willing to play teacher tonight. And counselor. And leader. And whatever else
Clark needed. But for now, the silence was fine. Electric even, charged with
when Clark finally breaks the silence in a serious voice on the way to the
city, it’s not a surprise.
we need to talk." Despite expecting it, that *really* was never a good
thing to hear. From anyone. Especially Clark. Especially not when Lex has
a hand on Clark’s knee and they’re halfway to Metropolis, on their way to
- what’s up?" Clark’s staring at his shoes.
am completely clueless. I don’t know anything. About sex. Especially sex with
- another man." Okay, Clark’s going for the straightforward, business-like
approach. Lex knows how to handle this - he expected it.
the point Clark. You’re not supposed to know anything yet. The fun part is
learning. And you won’t ever know everything about sex. It’s different with
every single person. Everyone has to learn when they have sex. You learn about
the person you’re with - what they want and need."
I mean I don’t even know where to start." No problem.
what if I-" Stop that thought before he gets it stuck in his head.
you’re going to be wonderful. You’re going to feel good, you’re going to make
me feel good. You’re going to be excited and terrified and nervous and perfect.
And you‘re going to love it."
do you know?"
it’s you. And it’s you with me. You’re going to be fine."
than fine if Lex can help it.
nods, but is silent the rest of the way there, and when Lex pulls into the
garage and parks, he nearly falls out of the car, catching his foot on the
door frame. So nervous.
come here." Lex grabs Clark’s hand and pulls him over to him, leaning
back against the car. He reaches up and cups Clark’s face in his hands.
won’t let you do this if you’re not ready."
ready. I just - I don’t know what to do. What if I do something wrong? What
if I hurt you?"
I won’t let you hurt me. You can’t hurt me. It’s all a matter of trust. I
trust you too. I just don‘t know if I trust myself." Lex stretches up
just a little to meet Clark’s mouth. It’s like coming home - to his childhood
home - where he was safe and loved. Clark’s arms fold around him and he doesn’t
even feel the cold of the parking garage now.
go upstairs Lex." No arguments here.
elevator ride is too long, too quiet. Lex keeps giving Clark encouraging looks,
tries to make him laugh by offering a lame joke from that afternoon‘s board
meeting. He’s not getting through though. Clark’s tapping his fingers on the
side of his bag and fingering a button on his shirt with his other hand. Lex
reaches over and stops the tapping. Clark’s hand is freezing and he takes
it between his hands to warm it. This is going to be a long night. Long, but
know where the bedroom is Clark. Put your stuff in there and come back out.
I have a surprise for you." Clark’s already blushing - even at the mention
of the word ‘bedroom.’
Clark comes out, Lex is sitting on the couch with a book in his hand. This
has to work. It has to.
a book Clark. You know, pages, words. A book." Damn it Lex, curb the
of Grass. It’s a first edition copy. It’s a little ragged but it’s the best
one I could find."
Whitman. Don’t look so surprised. I listen when you talk Lex. Checked it out
of the library. But that one wasn‘t like this."
it’s yours." Clark takes the book from Lex and lays it on the coffee
know what you’re trying to tell me Lex. I understand." Maybe he does.
Lex doesn’t think so. He shakes his head slightly and hopes Clark doesn‘t
am I trying to tell you?"
want me to be happy?"
want you to be incredible, Clark. I want you to know that whatever you want
to do is fine with me - I think every intimacy shared is beautiful. No matter
how insignificant it seems. You don’t have to do - everything - anything.
That’s what I’m telling you, Clark."
do you want, Lex? No - don’t think about what I want. I want to hear it, Lex
- what do you want to do? Here. Tonight."
so he wants to be lead. Predictable and innocent and it’s so- hot.
want to be the first one who sees you, touches you. I want to be the first
one inside you. I want to be the first one you’re inside. I want your hands
on me - your mouth on me. I want to hold you and taste you and feel you. I
want to know what makes you forget your own name, what makes you lose control
and scream and laugh and cry. I want to know you, Clark."
those things. Tonight." Clark’s drinking it in - he’s staring at Lex
and just tasting his words. And then, his mouth. He pushes Lex gently back
on the couch with a slow kiss, then slides his knee between Lex’s and moves
his mouth to Lex’s ear. Clark’s warm breath in his ear has Lex hard in seconds.
Maybe he doesn’t just want to be led. Maybe he wants to lead a little too.
want to make love to you, Clark. I want to fuck you. I want to hear you like
that - hear you call my name. I want to see all of you. I want to watch you
move. I want to find out who you are. I want to know you - all of you - memorize
you." Is it wrong that they’ve only just begun and he’s already fumbling
for words? No - nothing about this is wrong.
- and - oh God Lex - I want to see you - can I - can you -" Clark’s moving
off of him and his hands are tugging Lex’s shirt up.
stands and takes a few steps back, hands moving to his collar. He goes from
button to button, staring straight into Clark’s eyes. He peels off his shirt
and drops it on the floor at his feet. His eyes never move from Clark as he
unfastens his pants and steps out of them. He’s completely naked and Clark
is just… just *devouring* him with his eyes.
stands there, waiting for Clark to overcome his inhibitions, to come to him.
Finally he does. Clark’s hands slip over his shoulders, down his chest, around
his waist. Lex begins to unbutton Clark’s shirt, and Clark steps back far
enough that he has a good view of him. He pulls his shirt over his head, ignoring
the buttons. He unzips his jeans and kicks them off.
stand there, just looking - seeing - for a few long moments. Lex runs his
hands over Clark’s chest, his shoulder, walks around to touch his back. He’s
behind Clark, arms holding him firmly around the waist, mouth on Clark’s ear,
sending chills down his back.
to the bedroom. Don’t turn around and don’t talk." Clark obeys, hesitantly.
down on the floor." Clark drops to his knees on the hardwood floor with
what sounds like a painful thud. He winces but then moans. So far, so good.
follows him - crouching behind him, and curls his body over Clark’s. He whispers
in Clark’s ear.
you want it like this?"
I want to see you, Lex. I want to look at you." That can be arranged.
Lex crawls around to Clark’s front and licks a wet stripe from his stomach
to his chest. He pushes Clark down on his back with a firm kiss.
up with his hands on either side of Clark’s head, he smiles.
me what you want, Clark."
I don’t know."
about this? " Lex crawls down Clark’s body, softly biting his stomach,
sides, chest. Clark is moaning with every nibble and Lex isn’t surprised to
find him hard and dripping when he takes him in his mouth.
God-" That’s all the consent he needs.
starts going through his favorites - a firm lick all the way up, teasing the
tip with his tongue, teeth barely touching as he slowly sucks. Then, increasing
everything - speed, strength, depth. Clark’s so close now but when he gets
just to the edge, he seems to turn it off on purpose.
Lex, stop. I have to- God I’m going to-I don’t want to-”
just keeps going, building Clark back up, hoping he gets the message that
this is what he had in mind all along.
he must, because after just a little more encouragement, he’s swallowing Clark’s
come, holding his hips tightly as he bucks into Lex‘s mouth. The taste… amazing.
Bitter, but like citrus, like- Clark.
sits up, straddling Clark’s legs. He watches his face change from pleasure
to pain in an instant.
- I - I’m sorry."
Clark, don’t apologize. I’ve been wanting to taste you for so long."
Clark - it’s okay."
reaches up and touches his face. Lex shivers a little. This is so surreal.
How many times has he imagined this? Clark’s hands on him, slipping over his
skin, kneading his back, pulling him down. They’re faces are almost touching
when Clark whispers to him.
I want you to - I want you inside me." The room dissolves around them
as Clark reaches down between them and his hand strokes Lex’s cock. This must
be how Clark touches himself. Oh God. Lex’s stomach tightens and something
in him - breaks. All of his fears come down to this moment. He’s doing this
- with Clark - and he’s open - completely vulnerable. And he has to stay this
way. For it to be what he wants, he has to stay this way.
Clark. Okay. Stand up - get in the bed." Clark blindly obeys, pulling
down the comforter and sheets before climbing under them, then thinking almost
out loud, kicks them to the bottom of the bed. Lex crawls up from the foot
of the bed to cover him. Clark slides his hand down Lex’s chest, his stomach,
and wraps his hand around Lex, finding his rhythm again in a heartbeat. A
heartbeat - that’s what it feels like. Only. Faster.
Lex is stretching across the bed to open the nightstand drawer. He’s watching
Clark’s hand move on him and finds the bottle and condom without looking.
Clark sees him, realizes what he’s getting, shakes his head.
Lex. I don’t want anything between us."
Why is his voice so- broken?
Lex. Please." Really. So, okay. He lets the condom fall to the floor
and opens the bottle.
me your hand, Clark. Here." Lex squeezes a few drops into his palm. Clark
starts to reach for Lex’s cock again, anxious.
wait - it‘s cold. Rub your hands together - get it warm first." Clark
looks a little embarrassed. Like he should have known he was supposed to do
that. He rubs his hands together and after a few seconds, he reaches back
down for Lex.
takes Clark’s hand in his own, guiding him, showing him how to touch him -
long, rhythmic strokes - not so desperate as before. Lex leans down and kisses
him. Wants to devour him, but he knows he has to go slow - so slow. This is
not going to be easy.
Clark, there’s something you have to do. Relax. I know you’re nervous, but
it’s important. You have to tell me if I hurt you. Pain is not part of this,
unless you want it to be. Understand?"
lips part but he doesn’t say anything. He gives Lex a slow nod. He lets go
of Lex when he starts to pull away. Clark unconsciously rubs his hand clean
on the sheet and Lex smiles to himself, just a little.
runs his hands along Clark’s thighs, pushing them open gently. Clark closes
his eyes and tilts his head back. Just. Breathing. He’s hard again. So - *young.*
curls his hand around his own cock, getting his fingers slick, draws a wet
line down Clark‘s leg, inside his thigh. He’s watching Clark for a reaction
as he slowly slips his finger into him.
gasp - and Clark opens his eyes for just a second. Then he licks his lips
and closes them again.
pushes his finger further in. So warm - and tight. He’s going so slow that
it’s near torture, but he knows it won‘t always be like this. He moves his
finger in and out of Clark, who moans and balls the sheet up in his fists.
Another finger. Clark raises his hips and moans.
I can’t wait. I want you inside me."
know Clark - I’m getting there. This will make it better. I promise."
just nods, takes a deep breath, closes his eyes again.
is dying here - Clark is so - small. So - new. He wonders if he should keep
this up for awhile longer, but decides against it as Clark starts to rock
his hips. He’s ready.
lays down on him, getting as close as he can. Clark’s body is so warm, and
he’s wrapping his arms around Lex. He’s clutching him - obviously terrified.
Clark, it’s okay. Are you sure-" Clark’s quick nod, his desperate kiss,
answer for him.
reaches down to guide himself - slowly, Lex, remember- and when he slides
into Clark, *almost* carefully, every muscle in his body goes tense.
Relax, Clark. It’s okay. It’s me - I’m here with you. I’m never going to let
anything happen to you, Clark. I’m here-"
muscles relax a little under him. That’s better. Lex slowly moves in and out,
so gently, shallow and easy. This is really trying his patience, but it’s
so necessary. He can’t take his eyes off Clark - he’s so beautiful. Lex’s
rocking moves Clark gently underneath him, their chests sliding against each
other. But something seems wrong when he looks at Clark‘s face. There’s no
sign of pain, but something isn’t right. But - something… isn’t right. Lex
is completely disarmed when he realizes that Clark is *holding his breath*.
can’t manage anything more than a whisper.
okay, Clark?" Silence.
I need to know - are you okay?" Nothing. Clark’s eyes are still closed
- tight. He stops moving.
open your eyes. Take a deep breath. Clark. Look at me." He obeys.
okay. Try to relax. I’m not going to hurt you."
- I know-" and his voice breaks and Lex holds him tighter, closer, trying
to soothe. Wanting, so badly.
- Clark. Are you shaking? You’re shaking. Does it hurt? Do you want me to
stop?" Lex starts to pull out and Clark’s hands are on his hips, holding
him in place.
on Clark’s face.
No, don’t stop. I’m okay."
can’t decide if he should put a stop to this. Clark’s hard against his stomach,
but he’s slick with sweat and the shaking… can‘t be a good sign.
maybe I should-"
Lex. I just - I didn’t think it would be so- like this. It’s so - it’s not-
it can be, Clark, but no, it’s not this time." Lex gives him a little
smile to show that he’s teasing. Clark lifts his hips a little and Lex starts
rocking into him again.
raises up on his hands and nods toward where their bodies are joining.
at us, Clark. Look." Clark pushes himself up on his elbows to see and
Lex starts moving slowly.
His voice cracks but he doesn‘t stop watching.
seems to melt under him. His hands move along Lex’s back and he’s sighing.
He wraps his legs around Lex, finding his rhythm and matching it. This is
more like it.
that okay?" He has to ask?
God Clark, you’re so incredible. It’s - you‘re - perfect."
stares into his eyes, tongue unconsciously moving over his lips. Lex picks
up the pace, harder, faster, a little deeper. He’s holding back, but it’s
so sweet that he doesn’t mind taking his time.
Oh, God - I’m - I feel so-" And tears are sliding from the corners of
Clark’s eyes, down the sides of his face and disappearing into his hair.
know Clark. I know."
- Lex - I’m- I’m going to -don‘t stop-"
Clark - yes-" Hot drops pulse onto their chests and stomachs and God,
Clark is so beautiful like this - so raw and - base. Clark pulls Lex down
to him, holding him tightly against his chest. Like he’s going to fall if
he lets go. And Lex never stops moving. And Clark is so - perfect.
now, in this moment, Clark is his. His lover. His student. His- God. His.
Just the thought is more than enough. He can’t wait anymore. He comes inside
Clark, rocking in waves against him. After a few moments, he pulls out, the
feeling of separation exquisitely sharp. He leans down and licks Clark‘s tears
away, an impulse that seems so strange - so erotic. Salt. From inside Clark.
His mouth finds Clark’s and he kisses him softly. He moves off to lie just
kisses Clark’s shoulder and brings a leg up to rest across his legs, pulling
him in close. When he pulls Clark’s head down on his chest, Clark swallows
hard and his tears start again. Lex can feel him jerking with his silent crying.
He closes his eyes. Lex can’t stand this.
makes an effort to sound gentle, comforting, patient.
Clark it’s okay. It’s okay." Clark just barely nods. "What’s wrong?"
just - you’re so far away now. I miss you."
Clark‘s arms enfold him. He clings to Lex, turning on his side to face him,
burying his head in Lex‘s shoulder. Lex holds him close, knowing there‘s nothing
else to say. And at this moment, Lex knows that he is loved -desperately,
completely, wholly and without judgement. He holds onto that feeling like
it’s the most precious thing in the world.
And it is.
~ FINIS ~