Written for the Clexfest Challenge - First Wave
Original Publication Date: 09/17/02
Disclaimer: If they were mine, I wouldn't be writing about this, I'd be
Summary: Lex's metabolism is changed by the meteors. (Okay, so this fic barely
has anything to do with that, but. you know how it goes!) Really: Clark can't
remember and needs reminding.
Author Notes: Profuse thanks to my dear betas - can't believe how many worked
this one! LOL Edie, Kathryn, L.C., Jacyn, Sean, and special thanks to Rach
the almost daily support and encouragement and Kel for the lovely smacks and
shoves in the this general direction.
Cold tile stinging the bottoms of his feet, Lex crossed to the refrigerator,
determined. He needed cold. Water. Front-and-center on the metal shelf and
frigid he knew his teeth would ache, but it didn’t matter, not this morning.
The glasses were lined up neatly on a shelf across the kitchen. Too far away
make the effort. A twist of the cap, sharp metal scraping the thin skin between
thumb and finger a little. Lips to bottle and his throat clenched around the
No headache as usual, but he wasn’t exactly feeling chipper this morning.
Mouth, skin, throat, eyes. Head-to-toe dehydrated that left him desert-dry
feeling stretched. Thoughts came sharply with a false alertness, the kind
brought on by necessity rather than rested wakefulness.
A shame that he couldn’t really appreciate anything but the temperature and
wetness of the water this morning. It was decidedly the cleanest liquid he’d
ever tasted, and it was nearly as addictive as anything he’d had last night.
Maybe more addictive, at ten glasses a day. Somehow not as therapeutic though;
the cheerful blue bottle spoiled a contemplative mood in the same way that
Scotch and Merlot always seemed to compliment one.
Sometime before dawn, Clark had passed out listening to him read Thoreau (a
request that he‘d honored, however ludicrous from the mouth of a tipsy,
sex-sated teenager). When the eyes looking up at him had lost their light
finally fell shut, he’d carefully scooted out from under the head on his lap,
pulled a blanket over Clark, turned out the lights and gone upstairs. He’d
stayed holed-up in his room for hours this morning, half fearing and half
Clark would just be gone when he finally tread down the stairs to check on
He’d stopped by the office door on the way to the kitchen and opened it just
crack to see if his best friend was awake. He wasn’t though - he was still
sleeping soundly on the couch, deep breaths in perfect rhythm. Light from
morning sun shown through the red window pane and hit his face. The soft-edged
rectangle was perfectly positioned, covering Clark’s face and neck, burning
false blush there.
In his sleep, Clark had thrown an arm across his face to shield his eyes from
the light, and the arm glowed pale red as well. Lex considered going in to
stand over him, thought maybe he could use blocking the light as an excuse
just watch Clark sleep. But he couldn’t rationalize allowing himself that
of freedom with Clark yet.
Last night, he had been too… honest. More honest than he’d let himself be
ages. Honest like a nightmare. He closed his eyes against the years-old memory
of waking up, sweaty and struggling to breathe, then shook it off and opened
eyes again. This morning was already dangerous enough - not the time to let
himself get soft. He needed to rebuild his defenses again, carefully
reestablish the boundaries that had blurred and bent the night before.
The things they’d done last night weren’t new, but the feelings they produced
were. Their mutual desires laid bare, the unexpected emotions born within
were raw and stung with sharp honesty and clarity. It had been a journey;
clumsy and awkward but laced with a connection and intimacy that he’d never
known before and thought he might never find again.
For once it didn‘t seem that knowledge was an advantage. His experience was
longer a source of arrogant pride, not after the lessons he’d learned last
night. Even the fumbling alcohol-induced confidence of a sixteen-year-old
brought him to his knees faster than the thousand-dollar whores he’d known
the city. There’s something to be said for innocence and inexperience. There
was also the flip side - he’d discovered that *teaching* made the blood run
thick in his veins, made him feel the pulse of every heartbeat in wrists,
throat, chest and cock.
The fact that they weren’t in a relationship was a moot point last night.
tangling together had been pure give and take with no regard for tedious
Finishing another long draw on his water, he set the bottle down on the counter
and absently wiped the cold dew off his lips with the back of his hand.
Clark was going to need something for his head, that much was certain. Last
night, before they’d moved on to more… interesting topics, Clark had rambled
about all the things he’d tried at the party. Ticked off his drink list of
evening with unabashed youthful pride; White Russians that Chloe was now
apparently famous for, a half-dozen lime Jell-O shots that had stained his
tongue green (he’d stuck it out at Lex to prove it), an assortment of beers
one joint split between him and three friends, although Clark had quietly
admitted he wasn’t sure he’d even really inhaled.
Lex fished through the shelves, behind the milk - there it was - a bottle
Captain Morgan’s and just next to it, it’s partner in cure, Absolut Vodka.
Trust Maria to have some on hand. Hell, she probably used it for herself by
looks of the half-empty bottles. He reached for the carton of eggs but decided
against breakfast. He had no idea what to expect from Clark’s stomach this
morning, and he didn’t feel much like eating either.
He glanced across the kitchen at the row of glasses. Hell, he’d make the effort
for Clark - across the freezing tiles again to the cabinet and back, glass
hand. As he plunked ice into it, he glanced at the clock - almost noon - shit.
Clark should be on his way home by now, maybe even hard at work baling hay
some other farm-necessary chore, instead of still asleep on his couch.
He’d known last night that sending Clark home the morning after wasn’t going
be fun or easy. The necessity of it would serve as a small concession if Clark
left in a hurry. He poured, stirred and took a sip to make sure it was mild
Bloody Mary well-mixed and chilled, he made his way back to the office. He
wasn’t trying to be quiet, but he froze as the click of the door echoed through
the room and the young man on the couch stirred.
Lex wasn’t in the habit of waking his lovers in the morning. Either he left
before they woke or vice versa. He padded across the room silently, glancing
down, grateful for the quiet of his bare feet. The rise and fall of Clark’s
chest too precious a thing to interrupt with a harsh awakening. He positioned
himself at the end of the couch and waited for the peaceful eyes to open.
As if on cue, Clark blinked against the red light then held a hand up to block
it. Gingerly opening his eyes this time, Clark squinted up at him and Lex
couldn’t help wincing in empathy. A half-step to the right and the light heated
his back through his shirt, but spared Clark’s eyes.
Someone had to say something first, and he always did like to have the upper
hand in these matters. These matters? Lionel was a bastard for conditioning
to be so clinical when it came to… things like this. "Good morning, Clark."
Clark groaned and pushed himself semi-upright, leaning back on the couch.
really, Lex. My head is *killing* me."
"I'm not surprised. Here.”
He drew in a breath and extended the freezing glass steadily. Clark reached
to take the drink from him, eyeing it with undisguised suspicion. "What
"Just tomato juice-"
Clark took a sip and choked, sputtering and sticking his tongue out. "No
not! Lex, what *is* this?"
"It's a Bloody Mary, Clark. Like I was saying, tomato juice- and vodka."
"Vodka? Why are you giving me vodka, Lex?"
Of course Clark hadn‘t heard about such specific things as Bloody Marys for
erasing the effects of a night of partying - he’d had no use for that kind
information up until now. "Well, of course I wouldn’t normally give you
alcohol, Clark, but I assume you have to function today, and you‘re not going
be able to think unless you get some alcohol in you.”
"I'm not drinking that! That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. If
hung-over, why would I drink more alcohol?”
Lex didn't even try to hide his chuckle. Somewhere he heard the 15 year-old
version of himself echoing the same words to his father on a sunny morning
after. "Just trust me. Drink it.” It was a rarity for him to quote his
father, but the words just rolled off his tongue of their own volition.
Lex waited for Clark to drink, but he didn‘t. Strange that he was so uptight
about drinking one Bloody Mary now, after everything he’d had last night.
assumed that even Clark would be acclimated to the idea of alcohol after that
Clark set the drink down on the end table behind him and looked up at Lex,
searched his face. "You picked me up… at Pete‘s? Where‘s my truck?"
The truck? Clark was worried about *the truck?* Of course - the Kents would
naturally have rules that extended far beyond a general, ‘Don‘t get caught.’
First things first - assuage the fear of the most severe consequences, then
could move on to the less publicly-obvious issues. "It‘s outside, Clark.
had Enrique and Mitch go get it from Pete’s house this morning. And yes, I
picked you up last night. Chloe called me, remember?"
Clark‘s eyebrows crinkled and his eyes narrowed defensively. “Chloe called
Why would she do that?”
Lex wasn’t stupid - Clark wasn’t really asking about Chloe; he was asking
how he’d gotten here, why he was waking up on Lex’s couch. This was bad on
many levels, he didn‘t know where to begin.
It obviously meant that Clark had forgotten last night - not just details,
whole chunks of time. A choppy memory was *not* a symptom Lex was prepared
deal with this morning.
Irony was a bitch… he’d been upstairs in his room all morning, pacing, worrying
about what this first sober conversation would be like. All those sleepless
hours for nothing. There was nothing he could do but explain the basics and
hope Clark remembered the rest on his own, then maybe they could discuss it.
“You were pretty drunk. Chloe said you were looking for your keys and talking
about coming here to see me. Someone had the foresight to hide your keys or
your truck might not have been so lucky.“
“Chloe didn‘t have to call you. I wasn’t going to drive - I would never do
that, no matter how drunk I was. I’m not stupid.“
“Clark, when I got there Pete’s living room looked like a tornado blew through
it, and I think it was mostly your doing. Chloe couldn’t get you to calm down.
I think she thought I’d be sober enough to make sure you didn‘t hurt yourself.”
“So of course you sent the limo to get me. Jesus, Pete must’ve been freaking
out over that. And his house. God, how bad was it?”
“Pete will probably catch hell for the mess, but I don’t think you did any
permanent damage. I didn’t see him last night, but yes, I’m sure he’s heard
about the limo by now. ”
He’d be surprised if everyone in town hadn’t heard about it by now. Stupid
fucking thing to do, really. The town freak, pulling up in his limo to
cradle-rob the misfit kid, his best friend. Who, by the way, couldn’t keep
mouth shut or his strength under control when he was high and flying on alcohol
and so-called un-inhaled grass. News like that would travel fast and feed
gossip hounds for weeks. The two of them would be lucky if Clark’s parents
hadn’t already gotten several calls.
“I don‘t mean to sound ungrateful, Lex, but why didn’t you just come get me
yourself? I mean, why’d you have to bring the limo? I’ll never live that down.”
“By the time Chloe called I was about halfway through a bottle of Scotch that
father sent me for… as a thank you.” His father’s final insult in the situation
with Victoria, but Clark didn’t need to know that.
Clark rubbed his eyes and yawned into the back of his hand. “So you were drunk
too?” A little smile and Clark’s eyebrows raised, teasing.
Smirking, he shook his head. “I didn’t trust myself to drive, but I wasn’t
drunk, Clark. I don’t get drunk.”
“Yeah, right, Lex. Wait, don‘t tell me - Luthors don’t get drunk?”
“Actually, I’ve seen my father fairly inebriated a couple of times, but I’ve
never been drunk. I don’t even think it‘s possible.” Clark looked at him like
he had grown a third eye in the middle of his forehead.
He couldn’t blame Clark for not believing him. It was admittedly odd. Halfway
through a bottle of strong, aged Scotch and he’d been barely tipsy enough
second-guess his driving abilities. Constant sobriety (or something very close
to it) was the lesser evil of his souvenirs from his first venture into a
It hadn’t taken him very long after he’d gotten back to boarding school to
figure out that his lack of hair wasn‘t the only thing different about him.
Apparently premature baldness led directly to pre-teen rebellion. Under the
school stage with two other boys, he’d watched amber liquid disappear in regular
increments from a black-labeled bottle until there were only a few drops left,
then he’d turned the tall container up and swallowed those too, desperate
the giddy idiocy that his friends had found countless gulps earlier.
He hadn‘t been able to know the sweet freedom of that particular escape from
reality, not until he was older and could afford stronger substances that
bypassed mouth and throat and stomach and went straight into the bloodstream.
Even then, he’d never worried about overdoses or tainted goods. If things
bad for a few hours, he knew it wouldn’t last long. The effects of illness
toxins rarely touched him and when they did, they didn’t linger. Over the
years, a handful of doctors had dismissed it as a quick metabolism, but he’d
always known when it started, always thought of this - gift - as a kind of
concession from the meteors in return for his hair.
He wouldn’t bore Clark with all the details now… maybe someday, but not now.
“Well, thanks for picking me up, Lex. I’ve learned my lesson - I am *never*
drinking again.” Clark rubbed his temples, then closed his eyes tight and
a deep breath, face tense with what looked like the pain Lex had predicted.
The comment was innocent enough, but the implications behind it sliced deep
Clark regretted the things he’d done last night. Something Clark would never
intentionally say to him, he was sure. Which meant… he really *didn’t* remember
what had happened between them.
"You have no idea, do you?" It came out as a scoff and Lex let it
morph into a
smile, amused to find himself bitter about being the only one who remembered.
"About… about what?" Clark tilted his head, the look on his face
conveyance of confusion - transparent enough to make a drama professor proud.
"You don't remember what happened here last night.” An accusation, clear
concise, but low, like the words didn‘t want to be said.
"I remember drinking lots of stuff. I remember Chloe hanging on me and
taking off to the bedroom with his date. I *think* I remember you in the limo,
but after that, everything gets fuzzy."
"How ‘fuzzy,’ Clark?"
"Fuzzy as in 'I don't remember a damn thing' fuzzy, Lex."
A shame really, that Clark didn’t know what he knew. At least this way he
wouldn‘t have to listen to the apology he dreaded hearing from Clark. This
he could write last night off as a drunken mistake or teenage experimentation
gone too far. Easier really, to think of it as unintentional and insincere.
"Oh. Well, don’t worry about it then. It's probably for the best."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
That meant it was time to change the subject. "It's almost noon. What
were you supposed to be home?"
Perfect. A very simple solution to the problem of getting Clark on his way
out of this line of questioning. "Then you‘d better get dressed."
Clark stood up, his back to Lex, the thin blanket falling to the ground in
of him as he scanned the floor, obviously looking for his clothes.
Lex squatted down at the end of the couch to retrieve Clark’s jeans, eyes
filling with his best friend’s almost-naked form, his skin aching to reconnect
A wave of regret washed over him as he realized he could never really go back
the casual friendship they’d known before. Couldn’t think of Clark as an
untouchable friend or be satisfied admiring him from a distance. He knew Clark
differently now, knew his skin and mouth and body in a way that changed his
If he worked at it, he could probably rationalize letting Clark leave here
unaware of the change in their relationship. Maybe Clark would come to him
again some other day - or night - sober and honest, and they could start from
*there* instead of here. It would be difficult to wait, but he could set aside
his desires - and would - for Clark’s sake. If he Clark never came to him,
know it wasn’t meant to be.
Then again, Clark’s bottom-shelf brand of insomnia was usually fairly temporary.
Clark would remember pieces of last night at the very least, even if it was
just the vague recollection of a kiss here, a touch there. He would wonder
they’d done - if it had even happened at all. Lex couldn’t just sit back and
lie to him about it. No, for better or worse - poor word choice - he wanted
Clark to know what they‘d done.
"Um, Lex? Where are my-" One flushed cheek turned towards him as
stretched in an effort to look over his shoulder without turning around. Clark
being shy was almost as good as Clark being confident. Almost.
Anxious need bleeding through his chest like a deep wound, demanding his
attention. The inexplicable desire to be uninhibited with Clark again, to
be two kids with no responsibilities, whose parents who would shake their
and dismiss anything they did as ‘boys being boys.’ But this morning, they
both far too sober for that kind of carefree behavior.
Even so, maybe he could catch a glimpse of it at least, bring back a little
the spirit of last night. Maybe it would trigger some memories and he wouldn’t
have to explain *everything* to Clark.
He hooked a finger through one of the belt loops on Clark's jeans and stood
letting them sway back and forth as they dangled in front of him. "Looking
these?" Couldn’t help but smile wide at the look on Clark’s face.
"Um, yeah. Thanks." Clark turned slightly, reaching back to snag
the pants off
his finger and started clumsily stepping into them, face sunburn-red and eyes
never meeting Lex’s at all.
Lex wanted those eyes to look into his own again, wanted to know the freedom
that he’d known last night. That pure emptying then filling that flowed from
the meadow-green gaze into his own, not flinching - not even blinking when
met the truth buried there.
It wouldn’t be hard to just tell Clark what had happened. He could bait him,
make him wonder, then just casually drop the bomb. Hopefully it would turn
to be an explosion of smoke that would clear quickly away and not leave a
lingering odor of disappointment in its wake.
Bomb? Jesus. Even *this* was war. Well, not war, but something very close.
quest maybe; Clark‘s memory the chalice he was searching for.
He didn‘t hesitate to use Clark’s modesty-weakness against him. All‘s fair…
"Clark, you're blushing. Do you want me to leave while you get dressed?"
Archers attack on the right flank while the cavalry advances on the left -
although he wasn’t sure William Wallace had done it precisely *this* way.
"You don't have to be so shy, Clark. It's not like I haven't seen it
A quick shrug of Clark‘s shoulders. "I'm not shy. I'm just... I'm late."
"I’ll leave if you want me to, but I don't really see the point."
His teeth had
never felt so good on a jugular before.
Clark’s eyes narrowed and locked on his. "You don't see the point in
"In you being modest, Clark. It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
This was almost too easy.
Clark was having more than a little difficulty with his pants. Fingers trembled
on the fly and seemed to beg for Lex‘s help. He quickly tucked eager hands
his pockets to supplement the control he refused to relinquish.
As if the inability to button his jeans wasn‘t telling enough, Clark actually
said the words, "Okay, Lex… I give up. What did I do?" The Gods
kind to Lex today.
"You really don't remember anything?" Just verifying, making sure.
the opponent’s knowledge against his own was an invaluable tactic he used
Jeans miraculously buttoned with no help from him, Clark started looking around
for his shirt. "No. Nothing after the limo - not even the limo really.
I drank a lot though. Why are you being so weird? Did I do something stupid?"
Lex knew the shirt was long gone - stained the same green as Clark’s tongue
been the night before, torn with an urgency that couldn’t wait for buttons,
tossed into the fire before Lex could distract him long enough to explain
bad idea that really was. He didn’t say anything now though, he just watched
Clark search for it, turning around and around from his central point in the
room, glaring at pieces of furniture like his eyes weren’t focusing or
This was his last chance to back away and let it lie. He could just tell Clark
that the ‘something stupid’ he’d done was burn his shirt, but he couldn’t
for that. He wanted Clark to know - wanted to see if Clark wanted him, too.
"Well, that depends. I’m not sure what you would consider ‘stupid,’ Clark.”
Clark sighed his resignation, apparently giving up the search for his shirt,
flopped back down on the couch, elbows on his knees, supporting his head in
hands, closing his eyes against the burning light of the day and looking the
picture of impatience. "Lex, come on. You know I‘m in no mood for guessing
games. Besides, I have to leave in a minute. Just tell me what I did.”
"Me." Of all the things he could have said and *that* was what came
anti-climactic. So much for storming the castle, banners blazing. This was
more like sneaking in through the servant’s entrance and dropping a poisoned
pearl in the king’s wine.
"That's what you did. Whom you did." It was the truth, stark and
pretty, tempting Trojan horse for Clark to open before the surprise knocked
on his ass.
Clark sank back into the couch cushions and gaped at him. A few moments passed
with Lex’s eyebrows frozen high on his forehead, waiting for a more definitive
reaction and Clark just staring up at him, mouth open and face twitching with
Then, without warning, the gape was gone and Clark smiled up at him. "Stop
kidding around, Lex. What did I really do?"
Lex moved to sit next to him on the couch and Clark scooted back a little,
giving him the personal space he always demanded from everyone without a word.
He never noticed that before, but he was sure now that Clark must’ve always
it, always known that it made him more comfortable and done it as a courtesy.
He inched closer as Clark backed away, closing the space between them, making
sure that little formality - that required distance - was clearly no longer
necessary now. Reveling in the familiar closeness he’d been so eager for all
morning, Lex reached up and ran his fingers through Clark’s hair, tucking
runaway curl behind his ear before he could stop himself. It was an
unmistakably intimate touch, one he knew Clark wouldn‘t be able to misinterpret.
"I'm not kidding, Clark."
“It’s okay. Don‘t be upset.” It wasn’t nearly enough and he knew it, but this
was uncharted territory and simple instructions seemed the best route to take.
Clark froze while Lex’s fingers trailed from his hair down his neck, coming
rest on his shoulder with a gentle squeeze. He hoped it was reassuring for
Clark, but he could never be sure he was doing these kinds of things the way
they were meant to be done. Yet another adornment courtesy of his father.
Clark jerked away from his hand and it fell a little before his reflexes
reacted. “Don‘t be upset? Lex, you‘re saying we *had sex.* I‘ve never had
Not with - anyone.”
“I know, Clark.” That knowledge had been a masochistic device all morning,
torturing him with guilt, pride, greed, and a humble gratefulness he couldn‘t
remember ever feeling before.
Clark‘s hair flared out from his head just a little as he shook it in protest,
eyes downcast. “If we really did, I would know it, Lex. I’d remember if we…
I’d remember *that.*”
Lex looked on in wonder as Clark’s face filled with a panic he’d never thought
he would see there. Clark was frightened, and Lex rarely saw him that way.
Inexperienced, yes. Uneducated in the ways of the world, of course. But
frightened? No. As quickly as it had come, the fear on Clark’s face dissolved
into an embarrassed, pained expression that cut through Lex and made him want
kiss or slap it away - whichever would work faster.
Before he could do either, Clark moved slowly, aimlessly, not even rising
the couch but clearly readying himself to make a quick exit. “I have to go,
Lex. I have to get home.”
“Don’t you want to stay for lunch and a swim?” It sounded rehearsed even to
himself, though he hadn‘t even finished the thought before the words came
“I think we should talk about this. Why don’t you call your parents and tell
them I asked you to stay for lunch and a swim?” Wars are not won on the
battlefield, even if that‘s really the only way to really get the attention
“They don’t even know I‘m here. They think I’m still at Pete’s place. How
going to explain being with you?”
The effort might have been genuine, but Lex knew from the flimsy excuse that
Clark wasn‘t really fighting anymore. “Tell them you stopped by on your way
home from Pete’s. Do it, Clark. We need to talk about this.”
“Okay. Can I use this phone?” Clark stretched backwards on the couch and
snagged the portable phone off the table, anxious… and apparently not making
effort to hide it.
Clark started dialing and lost his coordination. He hung up, pushed the on
button again, started dialing again. He hit five numbers before he dropped
phone, picked it up and accidentally turned it off.
It was like a Buster Keaton routine - ridiculously adorable. Lex gently pried
the phone out of Clark’s hands and dialed, then handed it back to him. Clark’s
mouth slacked open then snapped shut - was he surprised that he had the number
A pause of what must’ve been ringing before Clark’s mom answered the phone
he spoke. “Mom. It’s me. Yeah, listen. I’m at Lex’s. I just - I stopped
by to see him on my way home from Pete‘s. He wants me to stay for lunch and
swim. Is that okay?” Clark listened for a minute as Martha spoke on the other end of the line, then nodded at him, said goodbye and hung up. “Okay, I have
until four. Then I have to be home to help Dad with the tractor before it
“Good. So, where do you want to start?”
“I can’t even think with this headache, Lex. Just tell me what happened. I
mean, how did it happen? Just start at the beginning.”
“That would be the most logical place to start, but I don’t know where that
What’s the last thing you remember?”
Clark’s eyebrows furrowed with what must’ve been an effort to think around
headache. He eyed the Bloody Mary and licked his lips. “Will that really
“What, the drink? Yes, it’ll work.”
“Okay, fine. But if I get sick, I’m blaming you.” Clark’s hair flopped a little
as he leaned over to pick the glass up off the coffee table. When he
straightened back on the couch, Lex took a chance and reached a hand out to
tuck the curl back behind his ear again.
Clark immediately flinched back from the gesture. “Lex, stop. Don’t touch-
don’t do that.”
Lex shifted away, holding his hands in the air for emphasis, swallowing hard
around the lump in his throat. “Okay, Clark. I won’t touch you.”
“I didn‘t mean to sound- like that. I’m just…” Clark lowered his head and
closed his eyes, breathing a frustrated-sounding sigh that Lex felt on his
“You’re upset that we had sex.” Lex dropped his hands to his lap, fighting
urge to reach for Clark again.
“But you *wouldn’t…*”
Lex dipped his head and tilted it, trying to look Clark in the eyes. “I wouldn’t
“You - We wouldn’t do that.”
“We did.” He wondered at the gentleness in his own voice, amazed that it
sounded so natural instead of foreign. Didn’t even know he was capable of
“I… are you sure?”
Lex forced a little laugh and tried to lighten the mood. “I’m pretty sure,
Clark. There was kissing and touching and an exchange of body fluids.”
“What? I‘m just saying… I’m sure it happened.” This time he didn‘t have to
force the laugh. Only Clark could get away with being innocent this morning.
“Did it happen like *that?*”
“Like what?” All greed and urgency and come everywhere? As a matter of fact,
yes. It had happened *just* like that. He’d never tell Clark that though,
with him being so shy now.
“Just… did we just *do it*? I mean, wasn’t there… why did we do it?”
Yes. There’s the rub. Why? Last night they’d grunted and screamed and hissed
hundred different reasons, but those only sounded convincing in the foggy
of sex. Now, Lex could only come up with a generic platitude that he was sure
made him sound too much like Jonathan Kent for his own comfort.
“People are always more honest when they’re inebriated.” It was admitting
everything, and he hoped Clark understood, knew he would if he just thought
Which he did. A few silent moments as he watched the gears grinding in Clark‘s
head. Then those eyes met his with all the intensity of the night before,
albeit on a totally different plain.
“More honest?” Clark was whispering, letting the words settle between them
he obviously struggled to wrap his brain around Lex’s admission. “So you really
“Yes.” The one-word confession was all that was needed to take the burden
truth from Clark.
“Why didn’t you say something before, Lex?”
“You’re six years younger than me, you’re my best friend and - then there’s
whole issue of you being in love with a Homecoming Queen.”
“I’m not. I don’t love her. I just - I’m *supposed* to love her.”
“I know, Clark. You explained it to me last night. You said Lana was just
place-holder for me.” The poetic words from a high school newspaper reporter,
and how ironic was that? If Clark’s career unfolded as Lex expected, then
Luthor and a future journalist were on much more than a first-name basis.
Clark nodded and took a sip of the Bloody Mary - he looked like he was actually
beginning to enjoy it a little - halfway through the glass and it should start
helping his head soon.
Clark folded the leg closest to Lex underneath him, propped an elbow on the
of the couch and leaned his head on his hand. Lex watched him move, not even
trying to be subtle about letting his eyes linger on Clark’s bare chest.
Clark scrubbed his face, paused with his hand over his eyes and rubbed hard
there, then he glared up at Lex. “Wait. How come you can remember all of this?
Why aren’t you hung-over too?”
“I have a very fast metabolism, Clark. That‘s why I don’t get drunk. That‘s
also why I have to eat so much.”
“Eat so much? Lex, I don‘t think I‘ve ever seen you eat anything. Maybe a
of fruit. I thought you lived on coffee.”
“No, I assure you, I eat. Maria prepares all my meals - at least four a day,
sometimes five. Why do you think I order so much produce every week?”
“I thought it was because you wanted-”
“-to see you? It is - I was kidding, Clark. You’re starting to remember though,
aren’t you? I told you last night that I order extra produce and schedule
deliveries so I can be home, so I can see you. Do you remember that?”
“Kind of. I think I remember you… giving me water? Is that right?”
“That’s right. We sat here on the couch and talked for awhile.”
Clark raised his hand to his mouth and mumbled through the two fingers he
pressed to his lips. “Oh God.”
“Did I - did I kiss you in the limo?”
“Yes, you did.” A smile and a nod for the memory.
“What did you do?”
Lex shrugged. “I kissed you back.”
Clark took another drink, then stared blankly into the glass. “I remember
that. I remember you were sitting there in your black coat, just looking across
the limo at me. I kept thinking you would never agree to it if I asked you
kiss me - that you‘d never say yes. Jeez, Lex, I didn’t mean to force myself
you like that. I didn’t - didn’t want it to happen like that.”
“I know you didn’t, Clark.” He wanted to be sure Clark understood that
everything they had done was mutual, but he wasn’t sure how to say it. He
reached out hesitantly, lightly touching Clark’s shoulder, then ran his fingers
down Clark’s arm, testing the waters. Clark didn‘t flinch at all this time,
his eyes followed the touch.
Lex took a hand captive, fingers lacing through Clark’s. Palm-to-palm and
arm-to-arm. His heart started racing at the intimate feeling of Clark‘s skin
“When we got back here, you told me that you’d never kissed anyone like that.
You said you’d only thought about one person putting their tongue in your
I thought you meant Lana.” Lex didn‘t move his eyes from Clark‘s face,
watching for a reaction.
And got one.
Clark‘s eyes meeting his again, blinking slowly, almost bashfully. “I didn’t.”
“No, you didn’t. You made that quite clear, and not too gently, either.”
This was going to be one of the worst parts - but it was best to just get
over with and move on. Lex held his arm up to show a bluish-purple handprint.
A look of absolute terror transformed Clark‘s face as he reached up and wrapped
his hand around the bruise, realizing it was a perfect match. “Oh God, Lex!
did that? I’m sorry! I would never-”
“Clark, stop.” The touch burned gently, the heat from Clark‘s palm creeping
his arm, spreading like wildfire and settling in a pool on his lap. “I know
you wouldn’t hurt me. You were already upset and I said exactly the wrong
thing. You let go as soon as you grabbed me - and you kissed it enough last
night to make up for it.”
“I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I did that. Are you sure you’re okay?” Clark
turned his arm slowly from side to side, looking at the whole mark, examining
it. The blatant concern sensual, not motherly - a kind of uncontrolled display
of affection that kicked Lex’s pulse up a notch.
“I’m fine. I bruise easily, but I heal quickly.”
“Fast metabolism again?”
“Apparently.” Best to get the logistics over with as fast as possible. Then
they could deal with… whatever was going to come. “Do you want to hear more?”
“Yeah.” Clark gently laid his arm down, but didn‘t release his hand. Lex took
it as a good sign.
“Like I said, after you grabbed me, you apologized. You looked like you were
afraid of me - afraid that you had hurt me - but you wouldn’t let me get within
two feet of you. You kept backing away like I was going to hit you or
“What did you do?”
“I figured it was the alcohol making you a little paranoid, so I just told
was fine, got you a bottle of water and walked here to the office.”
“You followed me in here, sat down next to me on the couch and just started
telling me all kinds of things.”
“What did I say?” Clark’s voice was cautious, a little worried. Who could
blame him though? The honesty of alcohol wasn’t always - or even usually -
“Well, you started off rambling about not knowing your own strength and that
was such a bad idea for you to be drunk because you barely knew how to control
yourself sober. Then you said that you deserved to be drunk because you’re
teenager and all teenagers have the right to get drunk at least once.”
Clark shook his head. “Oh jeez. What was I thinking?”
“Actually, I was enjoying it. It was like playing priest for a little while.
You were just confessing things and I just kept granting you absolution for
them. Mostly though, you kept saying that you’d been waiting for months to
me and you were glad you’d finally done it. You said it was the best kiss
your life. That it was even better than kissing me in your dreams.”
“I said that?” Face flushed before Lex was even done talking and God, how
he *do* that anyway?
Clark had the worst habit of making an easy target of himself. Then again,
left him open for as many barbs as Lex could think of. Hell, he was already
blushing - a little elbowing couldn’t hurt. In fact, it might be just the
thing. “What? You don’t believe that I can kiss better in real life than I
in your dreams?”
“Or you don’t want me to know that you dream about kissing me?”
Lex moved a little closer to him, squeezing Clark’s sweat-slick hand in his
own. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, Clark. I dream about you too.”
“You do?” Eyes round with awe.
“Yes, I do. I’m actually quite fond of dreaming about you.” ‘Quite fond’ was
vast understatement, but there was no point in scaring him away with the whole
“Lex, I remember little pieces of last night. I just - I don’t remember having
sex with you. I can’t even remember what…” Clark’s voice just stopped working
as Lex leaned in closer.
The young man’s breath on his face was the final straw and before Lex could
himself, he was asking the question that had been hanging on the tip of his
tongue. “Clark, can I kiss you?”
Clark’s breath hitched, but he nodded.
A hand finally on the smooth, dark skin of Clark’s chest, he gently disentangled
his fingers from Clark’s other hand and moved it to his face. A thin shadow
stubble scratched against his fingertips.
Thumbs dragging across Clark‘s jaw, fingers wrapping lightly around the throat
he couldn‘t wait to taste again. Christ, he loved to feel another man’s face
Could live and die happily in the simple evidence of Clark’s life scraping
against his tongue as he traced the line of Clark's jaw with a slow, hard
Last night those cheeks had been smooth.
Lex wasn’t sure how much of their first kiss Clark remembered, so this should
perfect. Eyes closed, leading, licking Clark’s mouth open, slipping his tongue
just inside. He took his time, tongue sliding slowly along the warm, smooth
curves of Clark‘s mouth, teasing his tongue, even teeth and strong lips.
Letting Clark get to know him, too.
The spicy flavor of the was still too recent in Clark‘s mouth. Maybe he’d
able to taste him again some other time - later.
Later. Such a small word for so many possibilities. Too many to consider now,
too distracting to think at all with Clark’s mouth finally on his again.
He moaned into the kiss, knowing that last night, the same thing had driven
Clark to the point where he *couldn’t* hesitate anymore. Lex pulled back with
one last lick, leaving Clark’s lips wet and red, thoroughly kissed. Behind
own pleasure he was vaguely worried about Clark‘s reaction, but almost
instantly, Clark leaned back in for another kiss. Reaching across Lex’s lap
lay a hand on his thigh and he didn’t lean back, breath staying close, hot
against Lex’s mouth.
They were too close to be casual now, but Clark wasn’t moving away. “Is it
coming back to you now, Clark?”
“A little.” Breathless. Still so close, but easing away from him with obvious
reluctance. “But I think I still want you to tell me.”
“Just stop me whenever you want to, okay?” It wasn’t supposed to sound like
proposition for more kisses, but somehow it came out that way.
They were both turned sideways on the couch now, each with one leg laying
on the cushion between them and one foot on the floor. Hand sliding down to
rest on the boy’s chest, he took Clark’s hand in his other one and smiled
“Where was I? Right, you were telling me… everything. I listened to you for
awhile but after about thirty minutes, I decided I couldn’t stand it anymore.
You were sitting there, telling me how much you wanted me, how much you’d
thought about me.”
Clark’s face sank, his eyes falling to stare at Lex’s pajama pants. “And you
couldn’t stand it?”
“No, not like that, Clark. I couldn’t stand it in a good way. I was… really
turned on by it.”
Clark smiled a little - God, so adorable - and lifted his eyes to Lex’s. “Oh,
okay.” That was the sound of hope. Maybe last night wasn’t just a teenage
“So anyway, it looked like you were never going to stop talking, so I kissed
you. I hadn’t intended to take it further, but you were pretty insistent that
take my clothes off.”
“You ripped my shirt open and pulled it off before I could even react.”
“Sorry?” Clark smiled and didn’t sound sorry at all.
“Don’t be sorry about the shirt, Clark. I’m not. Now the pants, you can be
sorry about those. They were one of my favorite pairs.”
“Did I rip them too?”
“It was more like disassembling them, but yes, you did.”
A light sparkled in Clark’s eyes. “So you were in your underwear?”
“I wasn’t wearing any.”
Clark‘s eyebrows shot up and he smiled wide. “You don’t wear underwear?”
“That’s… that’s really…”
Lex felt his heart quicken as Clark closed his eyes just a little and licked
lips. “It’s really what, Clark?”
“Hot. And… good to know.” Clark lowered his eyes to Lex’s crotch, grinning.
Still blushing too though - so fucking shy and it just made it better,
re-establishing some of the inhibitions that Clark had cast off the night
before, the inhibitions that made him *Clark.*
Seeing him like this, accepting the idea of *them,* glad they were touching,
even welcoming the touches, made Lex want to take last night back, erase the
things they’d done and just start over with this coherent, cognizant Clark.
wanted the decisions unmade so they could remake them now, sober and sure.
Clark‘s eyes drifted back to his lap and almost begged, almost screamed what
knew Clark would never even whisper. But Lex could say it, he could do it,
easily too. “Should I take these off before I lose my favorite pair of pajamas
Lex let go of Clark’s hand and stood up before he could answer. He felt
almost-bashful eyes on him as he stripped his pajamas off, folded them neatly
and laid them on the coffee table, then sat back down on the couch and smiled,
eyebrows raised. “Better? Now we don’t have to worry about those.”
Clark’s eyes stayed purposefully high on Lex’s body, avoiding looking at
anything below his waist. Clark was young, but control like that was rare.
Whenever someone got naked in front of Lex, he’d always looked, *especially*
when he’d been a teenager.
“Clark, it’s okay. You can look at me. I don’t mind.” It was almost a dare.
Slowly, Clark’s eyes lowered, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. Lex
half expected him to giggle, but he didn’t. Clark’s eyes just slid over his
entire body, taking him in, mouth hanging open just a little, tongue snaking
and licking his lips again. “God, Lex. You’re- you’re like a statue.”
“Hard? Yes, Clark, and it’s your fault.”
“No. I mean, that’s not what I meant. You’re smooth like marble and your
muscles are really… defined. You‘re… the most beautiful thing I‘ve ever seen.”
“Remind me to show you this really great invention later, Clark. It’s called
Red cheeks lifted in a smile, and Clark shook his head, rolled his eyes. “Very
funny, Lex. I’m nothing like you. I’m so awkward. I’m too tall for my age
Lex leaned in and caught Clark’s words in his mouth - and delivered his argument
in the form of a kiss. This time he wasn’t asking permission first. He found
all the consent he needed as Clark’s tongue slid along his, rough against
roof of his mouth.
Clark pulled back and his hand was lifted, fingers kissed. Christ, he could
*see* Clark remembering. He held his breath as Clark gently sucked his fingers,
running his tongue over the lines of his fingerprints.
Lex took a deep breath, filling his lungs only because he *had* to. Clark’s
teeth bit lightly on the pads of his fingers, scraping them one by one. Then
tip of his tongue flicked over the bitten flesh, warming it. This was all
perfect re-enactment of last night. “You do remember, Clark. You just don’t
know that you do.”
An interruption of the heat and that was not a good thing, even if it meant
got to hear Clark‘s low, quiet voice. “I don’t remember everything we did,
I wish I did. I know that you love this. I just don’t know *how* I know.”
Clark licked a stripe to Lex’s wrist, then sucked on the pulse there, teeth
scraping gently along the tendons and veins. Having his wrists sucked was
one kink he could never resist, the one he‘d never told anyone about until
night. “Mmm, yes… just like that. You know because I told you.”
A soft kiss to the palm of each hand and Clark leaned back. “You did?”
“Yes. You said you didn’t know what do to and you wanted me to tell you what
liked. So I did.”
“What else did you tell me to do?”
“Everything, Clark. I told you how to kiss me, how to turn me on, how to touch
“How to touch you. Hard enough not to tickle but you don’t like fingernails,
right?” Clark pulled on Lex’s hand, straightening his arm. He swallowed a
as Clark ran his hand up sensitive skin on the underside of the outstretched
arm, like he was testing to see if that‘s how Lex liked it.
“That’s right.” The details might still be fuzzy now, but Lex knew Clark’s
hands on him would help bring last night back to him. His body was something
Clark knew now. He would remember the curves, the bones, the muscles. He’d
seen them before, felt them before. Touched them. Tasted them. Sense memories
weren’t easily forgotten.
“I am. I can remember… I remember your skin against mine. I remember thinking
how smooth it was and how I wished I didn’t have any hair either so we could
have nothing between us. That’s stupid, I know, but I that‘s what I thought.”
“You told me, and it’s not stupid. It’s a wonderful thought, Clark.” Lex ran
a hand across the smooth skin of Clark’s chest then down, over young, work-toned
muscles, fingers finally coming to a stop and curving under the waistband
boy’s jeans, sliding slowly between denim and skin. Rubbing there, hard enough
not to elicit giggles, fingertips just touching the head of Clark’s swollen
Clark glanced down, but Lex never moved his eyes from the boy’s. When he looked
back up, Lex caught Clark’s gaze and held it. If he could make Clark watch
eyes, he might not be so nervous about what was going on in his lap.
Clark’s eyes locked on his as if he was thinking the same thing, and he nodded.
A loud swallow that would have been awkward but wasn‘t because any noise from
Clark sounded sexy now. Nothing in the world sexier than Clark leaning in
whispering in a low voice, breath ghosting across his ear. “Nothing between
Mouth to mouth again and almost as desperate and life-giving as it was months
ago, but the old version had nothing on this. Fingers fast on Clark’s button
and Lex gave him control of the kiss so he could concentrate on pushing too-big
metal through too-small holes.
Raised up off the couch, kneeling on the cushions, fingers hooked in two belt
loops on the now-open jeans, gently pulling Clark up with him. Working his
thumbs under the edge of Clark’s boxers, he pulled them forward a little,
over the stiff cock that just wanted out and didn‘t seem to care if it pushed
through the hole in front or got trapped by elastic.
Way too easy to push denim and cotton down around Clark’s thighs, naked skin
blood-filled cock and God, hair. For a second, he forgot how to start.
Couldn’t decide what to taste first, then just leaned in, mouth devouring
Fevered rush of blood as Clark’s hands connected with his face, tilting his
up. A tongue licked at his lips, pushed its way into his mouth again, Clark
sighing and moaning as they settled back down onto the couch.
Clark’s hands slid under his ass, lifting him, pushing one of his legs to
side so he was straddling Clark’s lap. Lex wasn’t sure he liked being
manhandled, but he wasn’t about to complain. Besides, Clark’s way was better
than any he could come up with.
Arms wrapped tightly around Lex and held him almost still over Clark’s lap.
Material brushed underneath his thighs as the boy kicked the jeans and boxers
off onto the floor. “Tell me more, Lex. What did you do to me?”
No point in holding back now. Either Clark would run or he’d stay and do this. “I knelt between your legs and sucked you, Clark.”
“You did? I - I don’t remember that.” Quiet, shy and a hint of regret.
“Yes, I did.” Not wanting Clark to lose any of this confidence, he hid his
smile against Clark’s neck and bit into the hard muscle there. Scooting
backwards off Clark’s lap, he knelt on the floor, grasping his best friend’s
knees in his hands.
He looked up into Clark’s eyes for an answer to the question he knew he didn’t
have to ask. He wanted to see it though - wanted to see Clark asking for this,
needing this, even if Clark wasn’t ready to actually say the words.
“I want to remember, Lex.” Whispered to cover an unsteady voice.
“I know you do.” Lex gently, firmly pushed the knees apart a little and felt
all resistance dissolve as muscles relaxed and Clark’s legs falling open.
Between Clark’s thighs - where the lines of dominance and submission blurred
beautifully. Hands at the top of Clark’s legs, mouth sucking the crease where
thigh joined torso, just as he had last night, the taste a salty tang and
wanted to pour that over every meal he ate for the rest of his life. Maybe
only thin skin on Clark’s entire body - there would be time to go looking
Clark relaxed, eyes closed and brown curls tilted to the back of Lex’s couch,
throat offered up like an appetizer. A sigh breezed across Lex’s head as he
stretched up to lick a path from the softly moaning mouth to the thin line
hair far below. Tongue not even touching Clark yet and he was already dripping.
It wouldn’t last long, but that didn’t matter. Lex hadn’t had enough of this
last night either - would probably never get enough of it.
Couldn’t help it anymore and risked making Clark more nervous by looking up
him, hungry for the look he knew he’d find on Clark’s face. He painted a thin,
wet line from Clark’s balls to the tip of his cock and wrapped his mouth around
Clark’s eyes snapped open like he was desperate to watch Lex do this. Lex
that too; loved to see someone sucking his cock, their head moving on him,
see himself disappearing between their lips. Loved watching himself fuck
someone’s mouth, loved watching their eyes change with the pace and desire.
night it was Clark’s face, and the show was better than ever.
Lips tightened around the end of Clark’s shaft at the memory and he flicked
tongue over the head, along the slit. Another low moan and Clark’s eyes half
closed but stayed locked on his. So that wasn’t as sensitive now as it was
night. Well, good. Maybe he’d get to show off a little before swallowing him
He lifted off, gently releasing Clark’s cock, and licked all along the length,
slicking it, pointed tongue drawing a hard, wet streak up the vein on the
underside before he sucked the head back into his mouth.
A loud gasp and an uncontrolled, wild buck into his mouth and Clark’s body
language was almost as good as the sexy, throaty sounds he was making - almost
as good as the begging Lex had elicited from him last night. His cock jerked
the memory of the young, rebellious voice pleading for him to lead Clark one
step further away from virginity.
Clark arched up into his mouth again, an apology creeping across his face,
settled back down on the couch, thighs tensed like he was determined not to
again. Lex thought about telling him to stand up, considered letting Clark
strong hands around his head and just fuck his mouth but dismissed the idea
he saw Clark bite his lower lip, drop his head backwards, eyes fluttering
Clark’s hand trailed absently up his own chest, found a nipple like it was
old habit and squeezed, rolling it, pulling it. Did Clark know he looked this
sexy when he touched himself? Did he even realize that Lex was watching him?
God, he hoped so, hoped at least part of that simple sensuality was directed
His name took on an entirely different meaning when it was moaned and Clark
arched up a little to punctuate it. All the encouragement he needed to open
throat and take the cock deeper. Chin and nose touched skin and hair as his
throat stretched. He swallowed, muscles constricting convulsively and Clark
pushed up, slamming deeper, making Lex blink hard. One eye-watering, sharp
in his throat, then another, and hands wrapped too tightly on his shoulders,
fingers digging into muscle as Clark exploded down his throat.
Lex squeezed the cock with stretched lips and swallowed quickly as it pulsed,
making sure he kept things neat. Clark tensed ass, thighs and face from the
first pulse to the last, then sagged in a beautiful post-orgasmic slump.
The taste of a new lover’s life on Lex’s tongue and he wanted more. He lapped
Clark’s stomach, along the half-hard length. Couldn’t have anyone getting
embarrassed over a little spilt come. Catering to Clark’s teenage sensibilities
had never been this much fun before.
Not quite ready to part with it all together, Lex covered the cock with his
and sat back on his heels. Couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the dazed
teenager hovering miles away from him in a fog of endorphins. Clark’s eyes
closed, one arm hung lifelessly beside him, resting on the couch. Another
reached out for him, wrapping around the back of his neck to pull him closer.
He inched forward on his knees, getting as close as he could to Clark without
changing positions. The fabric of the couch scratched against his stomach
still-hard cock, his knees cold and flattened by the stone floor, but those
things were just a momentary distraction. Lex allowed himself to be pulled
Clark’s mouth and thoroughly kissed. He kept his eyes open this time, wanted
see the moment when Clark realized what he was tasting.
A hitch of Clark’s eyebrows and his tongue paused, then delved deeper into
mouth hungrily. Last night, Lex had wondered that Clark had never bothered
taste his own come before; he thought all guys did that at some point. Now,
Clark’s tongue fucked his mouth like he couldn’t get enough of the new flavor,
lips crushing against his, bruising them.
Lex pulled away to catch his breath, his chest rubbing against Clark’s stomach
and cock as he moved back a little. His asthma was long-gone, but he and Clark
were both panting.
“Was it like this last night?”
No, it hadn’t been like this. Last night, neither of them had cared about
they came, just as long as they did. Clark had made quite a mess and then
shocked both of them by sliding to his knees on the floor beside Lex and licking
his neck and chest clean. Maybe he’d leave that part of the narration for
“There were a few differences, but yeah, it was basically the same.” He raised
up off of Clark’s stomach, skin sweat-sticking, aching for the contact he
pulling away from. Resting a hand on each of Clark’s legs, he pushed himself
off the floor, standing and unintentionally offering Clark a front-row view
his enthusiasm. Lex closed his eyes and rolled his neck from side to side
stretching tired muscles. Let him look.
Clark stood up, arm wrapping around Lex’s waist to pull them together. Clark’s
mouth sucked at his throat for a second, then stopped as he drew in a deep
breath. The air moving along his neck sent shivers down his arms, and standing
up suddenly seemed like a very bad idea.
“What did I do next?”
Clark’s words vibrated against the thin layer of skin on his throat, and his
cock was suddenly sheathed in a hand that wasn‘t his, palm wrapped around
soft thumb sliding over the wet tip.
“You - ah, Jesus - you got down on the floor with me and asked me if you could
Clark’s hand quickened, loosening a little to let Lex slide in and out of
fist with only a whisper of friction against the soft, dry flesh of his palm.
“What did you say?”
Reaching down, he stilled Clark’s hand and looked up into his eyes. Clark
smiling just a little, apparently enjoying his reactions. So much trust and
hope there, and he just couldn’t do it.
He leaned in and licked Clark’s lips, then pushed his way between them, gently
taking Clark’s mouth. He peeked out from under his eyelashes and saw Clark’s
eyes closed, then let his fall shut too.
Holding Clark's hand still on his cock, he kissed until he found the words.
said no.” Simple, really, but there was really no good way to say it.
"I wasn't going to have sex with you, Clark. Not like that."
"Right, I get it. Drunk teenager. But Lex--you said we--"
"There are a lot of different kinds of sex, Clark. For example, what
did was sex."
"I thought you meant--I thought you meant *real* sex. Not this."
"Would it have changed your reaction, Clark? To know that I didn't take
advantage of you and fuck you instead of--what we did?"
Clark blinked at him. "I would have... been more scared. But... I still
think I would have wanted this."
Lex held firmly to the hand on his cock and wrapped his other arm around Clark‘s
waist, trapping him there. He tilted his head down and to the side, trying
interrupt Clark’s staring contest with the floor.
Lex finally managed to catch his eyes. “We didn’t have sex - but isn’t that
good thing, Clark? The decision is all yours now. This can end right now.
can be a mistake that we never make again. Or it can begin right now and we‘ll
never have to regret it.”
Before he could offer any more reassurances, Clark’s hand was brushing his
then moving on his cock again.
“So, I take it you’re not-” He had never had the words actually sucked from
mouth before, but Clark somehow managed to do it now.
He reached up to Clark’s chest, rubbing hard, massaging, pausing to brush
thumbs roughly over Clark’s nipples, swallowing the moan that he got for his
effort. Clark’s tongue moved fast and sure in his mouth now, licking, thrusting
in and out, slipping along his teeth.
Lex savored the feeling of Clark in his mouth, but the kiss was rapidly turning
into a one-sided mouth fuck and he couldn’t stand the thought of Clark having
total control over where this was going. Not when the surprisingly skilled
on his cock was pumping him fast enough - in just the right way - to make
come much sooner than he wanted to.
He slid his hands from Clark’s chest to his hair, fingers tangling, forearms
pushing on Clark’s shoulders, urging him down, all but forcing him to his
Clark broke the kiss and sank down, looking up at him with a mischievous smile,
like he’d been planning this all along.
“Tell me what to do, Lex.”
“You remember, Clark. You’ve done this already. You know what to do.”
“Tell me anyway.”
He wasn‘t going to fight against something he wanted. “Cover your teeth with
your lips just a little and take me in your mouth. As much as you can.”
The sound of his own voice giving sexual instructions made his cock twitch.
Clark smiled at the movement, then nodded. Licked his lips and wrapped a thumb
and finger tight around the base of Lex’s cock.
Lex watched the brown mop of loose curls moving up and down along his shaft,
quickly dismissed the thought that maybe it was the Bloody Mary making Clark
forget his inhibitions. That much Vodka wouldn’t get results like this. Air
cooled his teeth as he sucked it in. Important to breathe, even - fuck - now.
His entire existence consisted of his cock and his best friend, which might
well have been one thing instead of two now. He had to tell Clark what to
had to lead and show and God, yes. Teach.
“Mmmm - Christ... Yeah, just like that. Now find a rhythm - like with your
hand. Find a- oh Jesus - that’s right, that‘s perfect. No, a little faster.
There. Just - just keep doing that - just like that.” Oxford eloquence
abandoned him as his body pulled his mind down along with it, just *reacting*
Cause and effect was the only concept he could grasp now. Clark’s tongue a
comfortable, familiar cushion of heat and wet, his mouth a perfectly tight,
slippery, warm sheath that seemed custom-made for him.
The pull of each suck made him want to thrust hard into Clark’s mouth,
quasi-virginity be damned. He forced his hands out of Clark’s hair and let
hang at his sides, clenching into fists, fighting the urge to hold Clark’s
still and just fuck his throat and finish this.
Lex closed his eyes and let his head fall back. He wanted to watch Clark’s
mouth on him, but the sight of Clark, *sober,* on his knees, sucking him off
too much. There was no way he was going to come in Clark’s mouth - it was
soon for Clark to handle that, and besides, he really didn’t want this to
Had to find an image of Clark - something that he could hold in his mind and
concentrate on. It didn’t take long to decide and picture burned the backs
his eyelids as if it was painted there. His only real link to humanity kneeling,
bent over him, strong hands on his chest, wet, black hair in brilliant contrast
to the clear blue sky. Clothes dripping with river-water, eyes full of concern.
A vague recognition flickered in the eyes and they changed, became those of
friend instead of a stranger. Swaying, Lex opened his eyes.
Clark's rhythm hadn't changed, but he was moving so fast that his cock was
almost numb. He was beyond aroused, beyond sensitive, and this had to *stop*
soon or the control he was known for would be a thing of the past. His fingers
laced through Clark's hair, and he thrust forward once, need overpowering
Clark choked a little and stopped moving, eyes - God - asking and still a
shy at the edges. Lex fought a sigh and lost as he pulled his cock slowly
the warm, wet home it had found.
He smiled down at the boy on his knees in front of him, and got a smile from
glistening, red, swollen lips in return. A mischievous glimmer in Clark’s
was his only warning before Clark’s hand tightened and slipped from the base
his cock to the tip, just once. Lex reeled and stumbled back, barely staying
upright. “Jesus Clark! Are you *trying* to make me come?!”
The grin on Clark’s face broadened and he laughed. “Well, yeah. That’s kind
of the idea.”
“I can‘t.” Words just… failed him.
“No. Not yet.”
Clark sat back on his heels and the smile faded from his lips. Lex stole a
glance at himself - at them - in the reflection of the window. So much skin,
muscled and gorgeous. Clark‘s hair a little wet with sweat, sticking along
and face like a calendar boy on the beach. Himself a perfect snapshot from
porn video, chest heaving, mouth slacking open, cock jutting out, wet, swollen
and flushed the same color as Clark’s face.
“I’m not going to leave you like that Lex.”
“No. I’m - no, you aren’t.”
“Tell me what to do Lex. I don’t know what you want me to do.” The words
echoed in his memory, connecting and overlapping almost the same words said
him last night. The most incredible case of deja vu he’d ever had.
Half-crouching, reaching down, wrapping a hand around Clark‘s elbow, Lex him
gently to his feet, then leaned in and kissed swollen lips. “Clark, as much
I want to, I won’t tell you what to do now.”
He wouldn‘t lead Clark into this. He needed Clark to make the decision, needed
him to be the one with the final vote. “Because you have to decide. This isn’t
up to me now.”
“If I have to decide, then you have to ask.”
Such a strange demand, but there was no way Clark was that slow. “You already
know what I‘m asking.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
Christ, Clark. “Why?”
“Just say it, Lex.”
Now way he was going to say it out loud - it was too crass and blunt for Clark’s
ears that way. He dropped his forehead to the bronzed muscle of Clark’s
shoulder and whispered against his collar bone. “I want to fuck you.”
Clark’s arms tightened around his waist a little as he said the words, then
released him. Clark stepped back, and for a split second, he thought it was
over. The friendship, the sex, everything. Panic and relief (oddly enough)
warred in his chest, but before a victor could be declared, Clark walked over
the table behind the couch and picked up the phone and all thought stopped.
Clark didn’t need help dialing this time. “Mom, it’s me. Look, something came
up and Lex needs me to stay here tonight… Yeah, I know, but you know I wouldn‘t
ask if it wasn‘t important, right? … Yes, I’m sure everything’s going to be
fine… Tell Dad I’m sorry about the tractor - we can work on it tomorrow… Right.
I’ll be home by one. Oh, and when Pete and Chloe call, just tell them I’ll
them tomorrow, okay? Thanks. I love you too, mom… Okay, I will… Bye.”
“Let me guess. Your mom says ‘hi?’”
“Yeah.” Clark put the phone back on the base and smiled across the couch at
him, then walked slowly back to him, eyes locked on his.
Lex closed his eyes, a small reprieve from the intensity of Clark’s gaze,
felt his waist wrapped in warmth again, two strong arms circling him, pulling
him close. His cock hung heavily against Clark‘s leg, blood still pulsing
through it. “Clark?”
“Yes.” It wasn’t a question. It was an answer.
Clark’s hand slid down between them to his cock and started stroking it back
solidity. Lex had to touch that face, pull that mouth hard against his. Lips
stung with the pressure but it felt so good to take Clark’s mouth again, to
it and control it, to know that it was finally, wholly his.
Clark matched his ferocity, tongue thrusting in time with the jerk of the
on Lex’s cock. Every stroke brought Clark’s knuckles brushing against his
stomach, rubbing a red streak where there should be hair. A thumb pressed
the head of his cock and his knees gave a little under him before he could
Clark broke the kiss and they both sucked in air, but he dove back into Clark’s
mouth after a few breaths, demanding more. A sure hand rested on the small
his back, a constant pressure to keep them close, as if he might pull away
any second and deny Clark this.
There was no hesitation in Lex’s mind or body, just pure need and want and
raw emptiness screaming to be filled again. Aching to be sated by the hand
jacking him, the mouth sliding on his, the sweat-slick chest sticking against
his own, Clark’s hard length rubbing against his too-smooth thigh. Not enough
friction there to do any good and he needed to wrap his fingers, his body,
mouth, *something* around that cock, needed to make sure it was sated too
because for once, this wasn’t about him.
He pushed Clark’s chest away from his, and the hand on his back released him.
Lex looked straight into Clark’s verdant eyes, knowing that they‘d see more
he really wanted to show. Even sober, Clark didn’t flinch or turn away from
whatever it was he saw there, but his hand slowed and stopped its fevered
stroking and just held him in a half-grip.
Taking Clark's cock in his hand, the knuckles of their fingers touched between
their bodies as he started a slow, methodical rhythm and leaned in to whisper
Clark’s ear. "I want to fuck you, Clark."
He rested his head on Clark’s shoulder and sucked at the salty skin on his
Clark’s hair brushing against his ear as he looked down between them, watching.
Lex followed Clark’s lead and looked down too, watching his own cock peek
through the opening at the top of Clark’s fist, watching the head of Clark’s
cock become slick with the evidence of pleasure from the strokes Lex tried
The sight of mirrored cocks, muscles, and skin was enough to make him wish
wasn’t bare - make him wish Clark was - whichever meant they matched everywhere.
Even the color of their blood-engorged cocks was the same regal purplish-red.
The sight, the duality of it, could make him come in a heartbeat if he let
himself go, but he wouldn’t. There was more he wanted to show Clark, more
wanted to make him feel before this was over. He tore his eyes away from the
fists when he could no longer recognize which one was his and which one was
Clark‘s, and looked up at Clark’s face instead, desperate for control. Breath
hitched at the sight of Clark’s blood-stained cheeks. They matched their cocks
and Clark’s lips perfectly - lips he wanted to lick, kiss, fuck.
Not here though. Clark probably harbored some lingering ideas of what losing
his virginity would be like, and they more than likely didn’t include the
stone floor of his office. “Do you want to go upstairs?”
Clark’s eyes didn’t move from the double stroking between them. “Can we -
we go to your room, Lex? I want to - I want it to be on your bed, okay?”
God, on his bed - more than okay - fucking hot. “Of course. Come on, Clark,
Lex uncurled his fingers from Clark's length, then moved his hand and slowly
unwrapped the hand covering his own cock, bringing the fingers to his mouth
kiss. He held tightly onto Clark's hand, pulling him along behind until Clark
froze, making him trip just a little. What-? Oh right. Clark was naked and
and not used to any of this. Lex bent and picked the discarded sheet up off
floor and handed it to Clark, offering an understanding look. “The staff is
used to me, but I know you’re not used to them yet.”
He allowed himself to smile openly, as Clark took the sheet and wrapped it
around himself like a huge, billowing cotton cape. They walked from the office,
up the stairs, down the hallway. He couldn’t think of anything to say, didn’t
think he could look back and see Clark behind him, shy and embarrassed; despised
the fact that his office wasn’t up here. It was too much of a reality check
them both to be traipsing through the house, too much of an interruption.
it would be worth it to be on a bed - to make this a better memory for Clark.
Lex had a hand on the light switch just inside the door to his room before
could think. He caught the motion and flicked the switch back down before
lights came on. No doubt Clark would prefer darkness, but dim was the best
could do in the middle of the afternoon. He walked to the curtains and pulled
them closed, shutting out the light and all distractions.
He turned back, eyes adjusting to the lack of light, and found Clark standing
the corner of the bed, hands gripping the sheet that still draped generously
over his body. That peaceful anticipation that had been written across Clark’s
features downstairs was nowhere to be found.
Lex crossed to him, closed his hands over the tightly-clenched fists and gently,
slowly pried the fingers loose from the cloth. By the time the cloth was
falling to the floor, Clark’s arms were around him, pulling Lex into the most
chaste hug their nudity could allow.
Lex knew the walk upstairs had been too distracting. It had given Clark time
realize what he was doing, who he was doing it with. It had given him time
be scared. An out should be offered - graciously given, no matter how painful
it would be at this point. “Clark, we don’t have to do this.”
“I want to, Lex. I’m just-”
A nod of soft brown hair against his cheek, full lips pressing into his shoulder
as Clark hid his face.
“What are you afraid of?”
Clark lifted his head and held him tight when Lex tried to step back and look
him. Clark couldn‘t even look him in the eye now.
“I’m afraid I’ll mess it up. I’m afraid I - I won’t be able to do it. I’m
just… I’m nervous. It’s *you,* Lex. I know that should make this easy but
just makes it worse because I don‘t know if we‘ll - ever be the same now.”
Valid fears all. Lex wasn‘t sure he could resolve them with words, but he
willing to try. “Clark, look at me.”
He tilted Clark’s chin up with a gentle fist, leading Clark’s eyes to look
his own. “First of all, Clark, I know you’re nervous, but sex isn‘t a test.
You can’t really do anything wrong. Not if you’re doing what feels right to
and paying attention to how your partner reacts.”
Lex lifted the corners of his mouth into a reassuring smile and ran his thumb
across Clark‘s cheekbone . “You‘re going to be amazing, Clark. You already
have been.” Clark smiled a little and looked down at the floor, his long
eyelashes brushing against Lex‘s thumb.
“Secondly, our friendship will change, has changed, but it is *never* going
die. You’ll never come across a picture of me in the newspaper and have to
the article to find out where I am, and I’ll never have to hire someone to
out what your life is like. We’ll never be apart long enough that we start
forgetting each other, Clark. I promise.”
Worry-lined eyes looked into his. "I... I trust you, Lex. I just... you're
my best friend. I don't ever want to lose that, not even for this."
"You won't lose me, Clark. Not for this, not for anything." It was
that Lex depended on everyday, a truth he hoped Clark would depend on too.
Lacing his fingers into Clark’s and gently backing up, he pulled Clark along
with him, until the backs of his own legs touched against the bed. "No
what happens in the future, Clark, we‘ll always remember this."
Clark nodded, swallowing hard, and glanced over Lex‘s shoulder at the bed. "Just... you have to tell me what to do, Lex."
A bittersweet irony that he was the one erasing the very thing he could never
get enough of- Clark‘s innocence. Impossible for him to have both the act
the innocence of it after this first time, though. A quiet greed burned away
any reluctance, and he leaned, lightly biting Clark's jaw. "Let me show
Hands moving to Clark’s arms, pulling him gently down on the bed with him.
Lying on their sides, Lex tucked his face into the hollow of Clark’s neck,
licking and sucking and whispering in Clark’s ear until a moan vibrated against
his lips and Clark’s hands started roaming again.
The whisper of a brush against his stomach and he glanced down to see Clark’s
cock stiffening, rising next to his own. Snaking a hand down between their
chests, he caught both of their lengths tight in his fist. He squeezed them
together, hard muscle and pulsing veins complimenting, mirroring, answering
other. Jacking them together slowly, he held his breath and just watched as
Clark arched his back, pushing their bodies closer together.
In one swift motion, he slid out of his own fist, climbed on top to straddle
shins, and bent to quickly suck Clark’s cock into his mouth.
Bracing himself on one hand, he shifted one leg, then the other, sliding them
between Clark’s knees, pushing his legs apart. At the same time, he exhaled
swallowed Clark, cock sliding easily into his throat. Held him there,
swallowing over and over, he let Clark fill him, stretch his lips and throat
until he knew Clark was getting close.
On the next uncontrollable thrust against the back of his throat, he lifted
mouth off slowly, leaving the cock slick, wet and tight against the smooth
of Clark’s stomach. Lex stretched up to take his mouth now, to share the taste
that he knew Clark would never be able to admit he loved - not out loud -
the truth was obvious with the thrust of Clark’s tongue licking the flavor
Lex reached down, pushed his stiff length away from his body so it rested
between Clark’s legs, burning against the virgin skin he knew waited for him.
At the touch of cock to ass Lex rocked his hips, Clark’s cock sliding, leaving
shimmery trail over his stomach.
A whimper muffled against Lex’s mouth gave him the green light, and he moved
mouth from Clark’s long enough to stretch over to the bedside table, retrieving
a small white bottle and a condom. He was clean, but Clark probably wouldn’t
know how to ask. Didn’t want to take the time to talk about it but wanted
to know that he was always watching out for him, making sure he was safe in
things - especially this.
Lex lowered his head again, catching the tip of Clark’s cock, licking, sucking
it back into his mouth. His hands were busy opening the condom, feeling for
edges, rolling it onto his cock. He flipped open the bottle top and let the
slick liquid trickle onto his fingers, then snapped the cap shut and tossed
to the floor.
He pulled his mouth off of Clark with one last flick of his tongue, one last
taste tonight. Clark’s eyes were closed, chin tilted up, breath coming in
slow efforts like he was trying to relax. Good. Lex rubbed his fingers
together, ran them down and around his sheathed cock once, then traced a wet
line from thigh to cleft.
Easy, lingering touches to Clark’s balls, the soft skin just behind them,
virgin ass and he couldn’t tear his gaze from Clark’s face, eyes unwavering
he slid a fingertip slowly inside. It hadn’t occurred to him before that he
going to be the first one inside Clark, that he had the honor of watching
discover this sensation. Clark’s face shifted from timid to rebellious, then
relaxed a little into a kind of preoccupied pleasure, eyes loosely closed
the slightest smile on his lips.
Lex pushed in up to the second knuckle then hesitated as the moaning stopped
dead in Clark’s throat. He waited for Clark to catch up, for him to start
breathing again, to tell him somehow that this was still okay. He saw it happen
in Clark’s heavy-lidded eyes - saw Clark giving himself permission to stop
ashamed and scared and just enjoy this.
Lex turned his lips to kiss the palm of Clark’s hand as it moved up to touch
face. He sucked gently on the thumb Clark slid into his mouth and when he
slipped another finger into Clark, Clark mirrored the action in his mouth,
withdrawing the thumb and replacing it with two fingers. Lex closed his eyes
and fucked and sucked slowly, mimicking the tightness and smoothness of Clark’s
ass with his lips and tongue. He stretched Clark carefully, thoroughly,
wondering at his own self control. Another finger in Clark, and the trio of
fingers now fucking his mouth were a welcome distraction from the urge to
The blood pounding in his ears was almost too loud to hear anything as soft
Clark’s whisper. He didn’t need to hear it though - he recognized the words
Clark mouthed them. Blinking, denying and accepting in one breath, Lex crawled
up the solid body beneath him, Clark‘s fingers slipping from his mouth as
Sinking his hand into the bed beside Clark’s chest, he moved to position himself
against the newly-awakened opening. A slow, firm push in and Clark’s hands
grabbed his arms. He stilled, looking down as the boy beneath him closed his
eyes and whispered so softly to him. He heard Clark clearly this time, maybe
because of the frightened look or the too-tight grip on his arms.
“I’m so scared, Lex.”
“I know you are. Do you want me to stop?” Anything, he’d do *anything* to
that fear away and replace it with pleasure.
Clark opened his eyes and looked up at him, then shook his head. Clark must’ve
known too, that the only way to truly stop fear was to face it.
“It’s going to feel so right, Clark, so good. I promise.”
Clark nodded again, though the worry didn‘t disappear from the corners of
Aching, he slid carefully, slowly into Clark’s body. After an initial
rebellion, the tight sheath welcomed him, drew him in. He let himself fall
his elbows, body alive with the feel of Clark’s chest against his.
Everything was an annoyance but this - Clark under him, muscles giving in
him, letting him in, accepting him.
Lex moved slowly, pushing the urge to slam into Clark to the back of his mind,
promising himself he would have that some other day, when Clark was ready.
The smooth skin of Clark’s cock brushed against his stomach with every long,
slow thrust, and Clark relaxed more and more around him, letting him drive
Lex felt Clark reaching for his own cock, then changing direction and laying
hand on Lex’s back instead.
So young, so careful and concerned with doing everything right. “Clark, it’s
okay if you want to touch yourself. Do you want to?”
Clark’s breathing was still even, but every breath was deep, almost like he
sighing over and over instead of breathing. When he answered, the sigh wavered
“I think so.”
“Please, Clark?” The request barely passed his lips before Clark was licking
his palm and wrapping it around his own cock, rhythm the same as Lex’s
Clark’s free hand spread across the back of Lex’s neck and pulled him down
a clumsy, hard kiss. Lex shook his head and pulled away gently, pushing back
on his hands so he could look down between them.
“Let me watch, Clark. I want- oh yes - want to so you do it.”
Clark groaned low and slid his hand from Lex’s neck to the handprint on his
absently covering the fading bruises and squeezing. Every sense in his body
heightened, Lex could have sworn he felt capillaries break, felt blood blooming
back to the skin under Clark’s hand. Maybe Clark would be willing to do this
everyday, just so he never had to forget what it felt like.
Mind filled with the determination that he would let Clark come first, but
methodical pumping was taking on an urgency he wouldn’t be able to control
longer if he didn‘t stop and there was no way he could stop now.
Lex propped himself back up, changing the angle of his penetration, hoping
it would slow him down and speed Clark up. Clark arched back on his next thrust
in, moaning loud through clenched teeth, head tilting back on the pillow.
He loved that he could find and please places that Clark probably didn’t even
know he had. He kept his thrusts regular, even, constant, but he increased
their speed as he watched the head of Clark’s cock dripping onto his fingers.
"You’re - Lex, this… this is incredible. Tell me I won't forget this
tell me I'll remember this forever."
“You’ll always remember this, Clark. I won‘t let you forget.” It was a vow
that could be easily made and eagerly kept.
Clark’s rhythmic stroking changed a little, lost its cadence and Lex knew
getting close. “Move your hips, Clark. Fuck your fist. Yeah, like that. Yes…
Christ, you’re so sexy like this.” His voice came out ragged and growling,
it didn‘t matter. Made it better.
“God, Lex, I can’t wait. Ah - I want… want to, but I can‘t-.”
“You don‘t have to wait, Clark. Come for me. Please, yes, come for me.”
Clark’s fist flew on his own cock and Lex almost slipped out of him as Clark
bucked and arched up. Slick patterns of come criss-crossed Clark’s chest when
he finally relaxed back onto the bed. Clark wiped his palm absently on the
sheet, then moved both hands to Lex’s hips, lifting his legs a little, pulling
Lex in deeper.
“Fuck me, Lex. Like you want to. Oh God, yes. I don‘t want you to - don’t
back. You won’t - won’t hurt me.”
Lex’s head swam with the words. Permission. He pushed himself up to kneel
against the bed between Clark’s legs and wrapped an arm around each of the
thighs. Lex squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lower lip, the pull of skin
along his scar an exquisite tightness to balance the constricting body around
“Open your eyes, Lex.” Clark wasn’t whispering anymore.
Recognizing the tenseness that always came with the urgency of hard sex, he
released his lip and forced his eyes open, made himself look down at the reality
he’d imagined so many times and never dared to hope for. Clark’s eyes fixed
his and the light in them told him things he couldn’t fathom , things he didn’t
think he could let himself hear, things he knew he needed but things he could
never let himself have.
He tightened his grip on Clark’s thighs, pumping into him with no rhythm at
just wild and erratic. Clark slid a hand over Lex’s sweat-slicked head, then
licked the wet palm, pink tongue tasting the sweat from the most forbidden
on his body.
The oddly sensual act sent Lex crashing down before he had a chance to think
he slammed hard inside Clark - once, again - body straining to keep moving
muscles betraying him, failing him. Drained, he fell heavy and laid there
Clark’s chest until the intimacy was choking him.
Aching knees protested as they slowly worked out from under Clark’s legs.
pulsed painfully under his fingers as he carefully held the condom tight against
his spent cock. He quickly pulled it off and tossed it in the trashcan next
Sitting back, he looked down at a sex-transformed Clark, the most beautiful
version yet of the young man he’d thought he’d seen in every light.
When he thought he could trust his legs again, he stood, went the adjoining
bathroom and quickly cleaned, then returned to the bed with two towels for
Clark, one soaked in warm water, one dry.
When he was finished cleaning Clark off, Lex took his hand and led him slowly
across the bedroom to the plush rug in front of the fireplace. Bless the
inventor of gas logs. He reached for the remote on the mantle, pressed a button
and the flames licked up, burning their heat into the chill room.
They needed something to drink, so he pulled his robe from the hook in the
of the bathroom and went to the hallway where he smirked, shaking his head.
Enrique’s quarterly raise would be doubled if he kept up that level of service.
Cheese and crackers, some grapes, two bottles of water and a bottle of his
favorite Chardonnay waited on a silver tray just outside the bedroom door.
picked the tray up, kicked the door shut behind him and took it over to Clark,
then stripped off his robe and tossed it onto a nearby chair.
“Do they always do this?”
“You mean after-sex snacks? No, this is new. Enrique seems to know what I
before I do these days.”
“He knows about us then.”
“He knows. But he won‘t tell anyone.”
“I don’t think I care if he does, Lex.”
A brave, new Clark was sitting across from him, and he was already learning
love the confidence that had taken the place of the beloved innocence. Both
wonderful attributes had been taken and given by him, by their union.
Lex sat down on the rug, leaning back against the base of the overstuffed
He poured a glass of wine for each of them, handed one to Clark and swirled
own, savoring the rich scent of lavender wafting from the wine.
Clark sipped his glass, and Lex couldn’t help but smile just a little at the
face he made before taking a bite of a wedge of cheese. They sat there on
floor, snacking and drinking in comfortable silence.
The tray empty, Lex stood, picked it up and set it back outside the door.
wine and glasses they kept. He returned to his spot and motioned for Clark
move closer. He didn’t want to speak, didn’t want to ruin the peaceful silence
they’d found here in front of the fire. He pulled Clark to sit between his
legs, both of them facing the fireplace, his arms wrapped around Clark’s
He reached back and pulled the afghan from the sofa he was leaning against,
wrapped it around his shoulders and then down and around Clark, too. Clark
turned a little, sinking down and snuggling into Lex’s chest. That was so
incredible, Clark comfortable enough to just do it without asking first. It
breathtaking to feel Clark so unquestionably committed to him.
Lex wasn’t sure what time it was when his eyes closed, when he fell asleep,
this lucid dream ended and his sleeping dreams began, but when he woke again,
was lying on his side by the low fire and the light filtering in through the
curtains was soft and pale. Gloaming light. Clark’s naked, sleep-slacked body
was just in front of him, facing away from him, touching back against him
chest to feet.
Lex leaned forward and kissed soft hair then tightened his arm around Clark‘s
waist. He closed his eyes and concentrated on slowing the wild pounding of
heart. Fear an irrational thing because this was Clark.
And with Clark, there were no mistakes, no regrets.